Sitcom Royal Rumble II
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble. Chapter 10 is up!
1. Ch 1: The Pre-Show Interviews

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for** **$1,000,000 on the line** **in an all-out battle royal. With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces, and two rings to match the carnage, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney or Nickelodeon. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 1: The Pre-show Interviews  
**_

* * *

Both current WWE backstage interviewers Renee Young and Jojo were shown on both the interview area and locker room interviewing some of the 50 contestants that were competing in this once in a lifetime event. Some were returning favorites, and some were new to the event. The interviewers decided to get their opinions coming from the returning favorites first.

 _ **THE RETURNEES**_

 _ **Steve Urkel's Interview**_

Renee Young was at the locker room area with Sitcom Royal Rumble returnee and Family Matters nerd, Steve Urkel.

 **Renee Young:** Steve Urkel, you managed to amaze everyone by being the longest-lasting Rumble participant in the first ever Sitcom Royal Rumble. How will you fair this year?

 **Steve Urkel:** Very well, my lovely Renee. I know having to be in the ring the longest feels like an accomplishment, but to me, it wasn't enough. I needed the victory to show Laura that I'm more than just a nerd who annoys her, Eddo (Eddie Winslow) and the Big Guy (Carl Winslow) through and through. I want to prove to everyone that I deserve victory more than anyone. I'm pretty sure everyone's thinking about the same thing. But regardless what happens in this match, I'm gonna give it my all and there ain't a sole to stop me!

And then, Urkel snorted in victory, therefore ending the interview.

 _ **Al Bundy's Interview**_

Jojo stood alongside Married... With Children shoe salesman Al Bundy in the interview area.

 **Jojo:** Al Bundy, you're returning in your second Royal Rumble match. Any thoughts on this event.

 **Al Bundy:** To be fair, Joe, I have. And I would have won it if it wasn't for that meddling suspender-strapped nerd. I hate how that Urkel guy snorts, it's like my big red-headed wife sleeping after sex. Heaven knows I don't wanna go there for sure. Victory isn't gonna matter anymore for Touchdown Bundy though, he just wants a piece of Urkel. And some of that burger down at the catering area, I haven't ate since the last two weeks, damn wife. I'm gonna look at that burger and pretend it's Urkel. I'm gonna chew him up and spit him out. That's what I plan to do to everyone, you know. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta warm up.

To end out the interview, Al brought out his signature newspaper and took it with him to the nearest bathroom.

 _ **Austin Moon's Interview**_

Renee Young was still at the locker room area, this time standing before the rockstar of _Austin & Ally_, Austin Moon. His songwriting girlfriend, Ally Dawson, wasn't with him this time.

 **Renee Young:** Austin Moon, you made an impressive showing at the last Royal Rumble, eliminating five people from the match. Now you're back to compete in the match, alongside Ally Dawson. However, people are questioning your somewhat short-lived alliance with Liv Rooney in the match. Any explanation why?

 **Austin Moon:** I'll be a man of my words, but sometimes, it's just me. I mean, I know Liv's a great girl and all, but Ally is amazing. She totally understood why Liv did what she did to me. I understand that you think of interesting ways to win. And even though Ally didn't appreciate the kiss that Liv gave me, I see why she's being a sport about it. This Rumble I'm gonna be in, I'm gonna try to get Ally and Liv to form an alliance with me, so competition between the three of us can get a little friendly. I mean, Randy Orton did it at the 2009 Royal Rumble, why not me? Trust me, I know it's gonna work. Anyway, wish me luck. I gotta train!

 _ **Liv Rooney**_ _ **'s Interview**_

JoJo stood at the interview area next to the blonde starlet of Liv and Maddie, Liv Rooney.

 **JoJo:** Liv Rooney, you made quite a buzz when you kissed Austin Moon at the last Royal Rumble, forcing him to get eliminated. Why did you do what you did?

 **Liv Rooney:** I had good reasons why I kissed him. In this Royal Rumble, you have to do whatever it takes to eliminate those close to you. I know I felt a little bad what I did, but when you're an actress of a famous musical sitcom called Sing It Looooooooud, you gotta be willing to take risks. I know that kiss was a little sweet and sure it pissed Ally off, but she understood everything I said to her. So I came up with a little gameplan. It's gonna be me, my sister Maddie, Austin and Ally forming an alliance, making sure that we end up as the final four. After all that's said and done, we fight it out to see who's walking away with that million dollars. It's gonna be sweet victory at the Rooney household, let me tell ya that.

 _ **Tyler James's Interview**_

Renee Young was next to the locker room area where Sitcom Royal Rumble winner and Dog With A Blog's own Tyler James was standing.

 **Renee Young:** Ladies and gentleman, with me at this time, the winner of the Sitcom Royal Rumble, Tyler James. Tyler, you made one of the most greatest showings in last year's Sitcom Royal Rumble, eliminating 12 people on your way to winning $1,000,000. How will this year be different?

 **Tyler James:** This year's going to be totally different for sure. For instance, my girlfriend Nikki and my dog Stan's gonna be competing this year, which is strange and awesome considering than an actual dog's gonna be fighting! How awesome is that? But all serious here, I'm gonna fight my way through 49 other superstars both old and new for a chance to win that million dollar prize, again. With that money, I can by a thousand bikes, maybe open up a dream bike shop with Nikki! Once again, how awesome is that? Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta fix up my hair for the big event. Don't want to get it ruined on my way to victory.

 _ **THE NEWCOMERS**_

 _ **Emma Ross's Interview**_

Jojo was still at the interview area, standing beside the oldest of the Ross kids from _Jessie_ and camper from the new Disney show _BUNK'D_ , Emma Ross. She was dressed totally different, paying homage to the Straight Edge superstar CM Punk. She even had CM Punk's famous Ice Cream Bar t-shirt for extra luck. _ **  
**_

 **JoJo:** Emma Ross, you're feeling pumped for tonight. How is that?

 **Emma Ross:** To tell you the truth, there's a warzone going on tonight. To be prepared for war, you gotta suit up. Which is good because I don't want my precious hands bloodied up really bad. But if it's for that million dollars, then it's gonna be worth it. I've been through the good times, and I've definitely been through the bad, but me and my family always stood tall no matter what came our way. This is gonna be different, considering I've got other 49 contestants to go through. So to those contestants who stand in my way, here's a certain saying I've learned from a straight edge superstar, _'It's Clobbering Time'_!

 _ **Dwight Schrute's Interview**_

Renee Young was still at the locker room with Dwight Schrute from NBC's _The Office_.

 **Renee Young:** Dwight Schrute, any thoughts on your first Sitcom Royal Rumble.

 **Dwight Schrute:** I got a lot on my mind for sure, Renee. Either this may be the most important match of my life, which is weird considering this is the first time I've ever competed, or I'm doomed from the start. Either way, the guys down at Dunder Mifflin's got my back. I'm not sure if one of them's gonna be there to watch my back at the Rumble, but I'm positive I'll survive. The only thing I gotta do next is find out which gravesite I wanna be buried then after this is over.

 _ **Charlie Kelly's Interview**_

JoJo stood beside _It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia_ bar owner Charlie Kelly down at the interview area.

 **Jo** **Jo:** Charlie, got any comments leading to this event knowing this is your first time in a match like this.

 **Charlie Kelly:** Of course I do. It's a matchup full of f***ed-up lunatics. They're more crazier than the bar that me and my friends own, except it makes our bar fights look like the f***ing holocaust. I mean, in the last Royal Rumble, you had nerds, police officers, a shoe salesman, pretty boys with girly hair, scientists, psychologists, stoners, hot blonde women, crazy-ass drunks, idiot foreigners, religious nutnobs (take note Mike Seaver and Jake Harper), bald bailiffs, bikers, castaways with LL Cool J hats, high-schoolers, and Costanza! I don't know how f***ed up this year's Rumble's gonna be, but I'm going all the way regardless who's in there. Freaks don't have a chance against me, that's for sure!

 _ **Cory Matthews's Interview**_

Renee Young was standing before Riley Matthews's father from _Girl Meets World_ , Cory Matthews down at the locker room area.

 _ **Renee Young:**_ Cory Matthews, this is your first Sitcom Royal Rumble. Any thoughts going into this event.

 _ **Cory Matthews:**_ I've got a lot of thoughts that's for sure. One of them is making sure that my daughter's not in this. Of course, I got no idea who'll be in, considering we had a mysterious drawing held early. Seriously, someone made a godawful picture of Hulk Hogan dressed up as a KKK member outside the building, and some angry black people are gonna come barging in like an angry mob. I'm telling ya, it's like we're living in the early 60's. But enough about that, I'm curious to see who'll I'll have to fight. And no matter what comes between me and anyone else, regardless if it's my daughter, her friend, or perhaps... *shudder*... Farkle, I'm gonna make my family and friends in New York proud.

 _ **Tim Taylor's Interview**_

JoJo stood next to Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor from _Home Improvement_ down at the interview area. Around his waist was a belt of tools that he wanted to use on occasion.

 **JoJo:** Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, you're known for your creativity with tools. Any tools you plan to use for the Rumble?

 **Tim Taylor:** If you're talking about the tools to win, than that's what I'm gonna do. You may think I start off with a power drill or a wrench, but this Sitcom Royal Rumble, I'm using the one tool I can rely on... my fists. Sure I may use a drill or wrench if necessary, but nothing sounds good than the ol' bloody knucks. It's been used to get rid of nails, just like I'm gonna rid every 49 people out of that ring. I'll tell ya, this is gonna be quite a challenge for the Tool Man, just like having to shave Al Borland's mother from her hairy legs. Believe me, you don't wanna go there. But you'd gotta be a man willing to go to great lengths to get the job done, and I'm gonna do just that! Uuuuagh?

* * *

 **Yeah, I just had to add Tim Taylor's signature grunt from the show itself. So far, here's what we know about the contestants so far.  
**

 **Returning:  
Steve Urkel (Family Matters)  
Al Bundy (Married... With Children)  
Austin Moon (Austin & Ally)  
Liv Rooney (Liv and Maddie)  
Tyler James (Dog With A Blog)**

 **Confirmed:**  
 **Emma Ross (Jessie/BUNK'D)**  
 **Dwight Schrute (The Office)**  
 **Charlie Kelly (It's Always Sunny At Philadelphia)**  
 **Cory Matthews (Boy Meets World/Girl Meets World)**  
 **Tim Taylor (Home Improvement)**

 **Rumored (although it may not be true):**  
 **Ally Dawson (Austin & Ally)**  
 **Maddie Rooney (Liv and Maddie)  
Stan (Dog With A Blog)  
Nikki Ortiz (Dog With A Blog)  
Farkle Minkus (Girl Meets World)  
**

 **Who will also be included in this 2nd annual Sitcom Royal Rumble? You'll just have to find out later on in the story to find out. Anyway, you've endured the pre-show chapter of the story, next chapter is where the action is gonna be! Feedbacks are welcome! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off! Uuuuagh?  
**


	2. Ch 2: The Rumble Has Begun

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: The Rumble Has Begun  
**

* * *

The place was the United Center in Chicago, Illinois. Around a crowd of 23,000 fans had attended this once in a lifetime event. Everyone from all shapes, sizes, kids, adults and even grandparents all awaited the fireworks that were about to sound off anytime soon, indicating the start of Sitcom Royal Rumble II. The signs were raised high for the camera to see, saying things like 'Full House Still Sucks' to 'Urkel 3:16' and from 'Have Mercy' to 'Please retire, Mike Seaver'. Growing restless as they were for perhaps an half hour...

 _*BOOM!*_

The fireworks went off throughout the arena blasting nothing but white and red colors all over. The building lit up all over with white, red and black, which was quite fitting since they were the colors of local NBA team, the Chicago Bulls. The two dual rings were decked out with red, black ring ropes, white ring mat, a red apron and your usual black barricade, which prevented fans from getting over the barricade in the first place.

After the fireworks died off, the people once again cheered on their feet while the camera got a good look at them. And then, the camera transitioned over to the announce team sitting at ringside with smiles on their faces. Aside from the screaming fans, the camera got a good look at the announce team sitting next to ringside.

 **Michael Cole:** Hello everyone, and welcome to the most anticipated event of all time, the 2nd annual Sitcom Royal Rumble! I'm Michael Cole, and with me as always is my broadcast partners, JBL and Jerry "The King" Lawler!

 **JBL:** Yeah, if you think last year's Sitcom Royal Rumble was anything else, wait what we have in store for this year! We got old and new superstars competing for a chance to become a million dollars richer! And plus, we got two rings! Double the fun, double the pleasure!

 **Jerry "The King" Lawler:** Imagine the lineup we got! We got returning favorites from Liv Rooney, Austin Moon, Al Bundy, Steve Urkel, Dr. Cliff Huxtable, The Fonz, Tyler James and some new ones like Charlie Kelly, Stan the Dog, Emma Ross, and more! I'll tell ya, this is definitely gonna be way better than the Super Bowl, heck, maybe even way better than the MLB All-Star Game!

 **Michael Cole:** Well, you're in luck because the Rumble starts now! Let's go to Eden for the introduction!

The camera centered around ringside where current WWE ring annoucer Eden Stiles (Cody Rhodes's wife) stood. After the bell rang, Eden spoke to the fans, who were busy making cat-calls at her. After all, she was that attractive.

 **Eden:** Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the 2nd annual Sitcom Royal Rumble!

The crowd managed to get extra loud, getting in a huge pop. They were anxious to get this match under way.

 **Eden:** But before I explain the rules of the Royal Rumble, allow me to introduce to you the individual who will be singing our National Anthem...

But before he could announce who would be singing the national anthem, the crowd all booed, chanting 'No Roseanne' repeatedly. Apparently, they must've watched the opening from the original Sitcom Royal Rumble.

There was no way the crowd wanted to cut themselves again. Luckily for them, Eden had other plans.

 **The Fink:** From The Simpsons... Ralph Wiggum!

Suddenly, Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons started getting in the ring, wearing a tight black tuxedo. Everyone gave him a loud standing ovation, especially when he waved to the crowd. He definitely became a crowd favorite for sure, despite not having to be in the match herself (which would explain why he was a cartoon).

 **Michael Cole:** Well, I gotta say, this is a nice change!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'll admit, it's better than Roseanne Arnold singing.

 **JBL:** Oh, please! Roseanne's singing is way better than this small retard.

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* He's not retarded, John!

 **JBL:** Whatever! He still looks like one...

After the crowd died down, Ralph waved at the crowd again before approaching the microphone. With a deep breath, he managed to sing to the people.

 **Ralph Wiggum:** *singing* _A, B, C, D, E, F, G... How I wonder what you are!_ *off the mic* Thanks, everybody!

 **JBL:** *shouting to Ralph* YOU SUCK, YOU STUPID FREAK!

 **Ralph Wiggum:** *crying* WAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hearing this from JBL, Ralph ran out of the ring and went to the back in tears while people booed the hell out of his singing. Either that, or these fans were pissed off at JBL for having to trash Ralph's signing.

The kid was just trying his best, but unfortunately, JBL couldn't see it.

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* What the hell was that for?!

 **JBL:** That's wasn't even our national anthem!

 **Michael Cole:** *to JBL* He was trying his best, JBL. There's no need to put him down regardless of the lyrics!

 **JBL:** It's not my fault everyone hated it! They're so mad, they're this close to starting another fire in Chicago!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL, angrily* You owe his family an apology.

 **JBL:** *kicking back* Eh, let FOX network take care of that...

The fans were already raging that a kid like him didn't know what the National Anthem was. It's already like the country had gotten stupider by the minute.

Luckily, Eden stepped in to save the day as she explained the rules for the Rumble.

 **Eden:** *to everyone* Next time, we're skipping the frickin' anthem. Anyway, let me explain the rules for the 2nd annual Sitcom Royal Rumble! Earlier, the first two participants who drew numbers 1 and 2 will begin the event. And every 1 minute thereafter, another entrant will enter by the number that they choose. Remember, in the Royal Rumble, it is every man, woman and especially _animal_ for themselves. No friends, only foes. Elimination will occur when a wrestler is thrown over the top rope and both feet much touch the floor. The last man, woman or _animal_ who is remaining in the Royal Rumble after all forty-nine have been eliminated will be crowned the winner of the Sitcom Royal Rumble and will be awarded one million dollars in cold hard cash!

The crowd yet again were finally on their feet, cheering for the million dollar prize itself. Better yet, the million dollars was held on top of the ring in a briefcase, similar in a Money In The Bank match. But it wasn't a Money In The Bank match. It was a Battle Royal filled with hungry and tenacious sitcom characters fighting for the big bucks themselves.

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'm feeling ready for this! We're about to see who's number one!

 **JBL:** I know what you're feeling! I can't wait either!

After the cheering died down, Eden started announcing the contestants

 **Eden:** And now, let us introduce the man who has drawn number one...

The entire crowd all waited to see who number one was.

After waiting for a good few seconds, the theme song to the Cosby Show played on the titantron, resulting in a respective pop.

Entering in his signature running man sweater was the obstetrician himself, Dr. Cliff Huxtable. Suddenly, that pop turned to boos in a matter of seconds. It looks like the entire crowd still hadn't forgot about the hate this man got from the last Sitcom Royal Rumble (the only reason why is because the actor was a sex abuser). Yet he didn't mind what the crowd thought about him, as long as he wanted to win this thing.

He wasn't in a good mood by the way, claiming how he sneered all the way down the aisle.

 **Eden:** From _The Cosby Show_ , Dr. Cliff Huxtable!

 **Entrant #1: Dr. Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show)  
**

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh man, I didn't expect this to happen!

 **JBL:** You gotta be kidding me! Dr. Cliff Huxtable from The Cosby Show drew number 1? This is just a miscarriage of justice!

 **Michael Cole:** Sorry JBL, but he's gotta stick with the number he's got! And once you got that number, there's no changing it back!

 **JBL:** It's not fair! It's like racism here for sure!

After Dr. Cliff Huxtable entered the ring, he decided to show off to the fans by doing a little dance move. But unfortunately, it still wasn't winning the fans over, who were still booing the hell out of this man.

While Cliff flipped off the fans, he awaited entrant number 2.

 **Eden:** And now, here is the man who drew number two.

Cliff wandered all over the ring for perhaps no reason.

Suddenly, the theme song to _That 70's Show_ played to a huge pop, especially when the people around Chicago saw who came out.

He was decked out in a blue flannel t-shirt alongside his signature hair-fading bald head. The second entrant had came up with a white picket sign that said 'The Cosby Show' on the front, and the words 'ain't got s**t on That 70's Show' on the back. Cliff Huxtable certainly got that guy's attention for sure. As the middle-aged hardass walked down the aisle, Eden announced his name.

 **The Fink:** From _That 70's Show_ , Reeeeeeeeed "Foot In Your Ass" Foooooooorman!

 **Entrant #2: Red Forman (That 70s Show)**

 **Jerry Lawler:** Whoa! Look at this!

 **JBL:** Now this is what I'm talking about! It's Red Forman, the same guy who eliminated his dumbass son last Royal Rumble!

 **Michael Cole:** Red Forman definitely has a reputation of being one of the toughest TV fathers there ever is! With his attitude and Navy experience coming into play, he'll definitely be considered a favorite to go all the way. **  
**

 **JBL:** This dream match is definitely gonna happen before my very eyes, that's for sure!

As Red entered the ring, he engaged in a standoff between himself and Cliff Huxtable.

The faceoff was definitely similar to what Urkel and Sheldon had when it came to the first two in the ring. Except two nerds fighting it out first, there was two middle-aged TV fathers fighting it out. Both were caring and nice when it came to their wives, but unlike them, one was nice and the other was angry. Red Forman was the pissed-off one while Dr. Cliff was the strict one. The fans were awaiting who would strike first in this match.

Somehow, the two men engaged in a verbal battle, making the staredown much closer.

 **Dr. Cliff Huxtable:** *to Red* Time for me to cook you like a-pudding!

 **Red Forman:** *to Cliff* Oh, yeah? Well, my foot's about to cook your ass like Jell-O!

Both Red and Cliff were urging to hit one another. They could feel it. They were urging to get that first punch in.

When it was said and done, everyone would find out as the bell rang.

* * *

 **Oooh, Red and Cliff as the first two in the Rumble? Sounds like a dream match I'd see for sure!  
**

 **Who will we see next in this extravaganza? Which new faces will show up? And will I ever get those double chocolate brownies I was promised like last time? The fists start flying next chapter! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off for now!**


	3. Ch 3: It's Always Hardcore In Chicago

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: It's Always Hardcore In Chicago  
**

* * *

After a few seconds from their face-off, Red got in the first shot, making Cliff stumble a few steps.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Red's now firing away!

 **Michael Cole:** Cliff Huxtable backing into a corner here!

 **JBL:** C'mon Cliff, fight back!

With Cliff backed into a corner, Red went all Muhammad Ali all over him, pummeling him with fist shots to the gut.

Already feeling tender in the ribs, Cliff managed to turn things over by pushing Red to the corner and giving out fist shots to the gut in response.

 **JBL:** Cliff's going at him like gangbusters!

 **Jerry Lawler:** This whole thing's been clearly turned into a boxing match!

As Cliff kept on striking him, Red Forman managed to counter his punches by raking the doctor in the eyes.

While Cliff was blinded by the eye rake, Red took his sweet time catching his breath for the moment. As Cliff managed to regain his eyesight, Red Forman rushed right at him with a meat hook clothesline, Ryback-style!

 **Michael Cole:** Red got him with the meathook!

 **JBL:** That sure reminds me of somebody who's hungry!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'm pretty sure he's proud of Red for that move!

Cliff nearly knocked himself off his shoes from that impact. As Cliff was found unresponsive, Red decided to end things from here.

Picking up the obstetrician himself, Red Forman managed to scoot closer to the ropes in hopes of lifting Cliff Huxtable over the top rope and onto the floor. Red managed to T-Bone Cliff over the top rope, but luckily managed to hang on.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Cliff's out-no wait, no he's not!

 **Michael Cole:** He's still in there!

 **JBL:** C'mon, that's not fair to Cliff!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL, boggled* Since when did you start liking Cliff Huxtable?!

 **JBL:** *to King* I like the Cosby Show. Don't judge me!

Seeing Cliff on the apron, Red tried to knock him down by pushing him off.

Knowing how hard Red tried, it wasn't good enough as Cliff showed excellent grip strength. With an excellent grip onto the ropes, it was hard having to get Cliff Huxtable out in Red's case.

 **JBL:** C'mon Cliff, hang in there!

 **Michael Cole:** This is turning into a total tug-of-war battle here!

 **JBL:** Hopefully someone might come in here and save him!

Luckily for Cliff, Red looked over to the titantron, seeing the countdown clock tick over to t-minus 10 seconds. The hardass managed to let him go, just so he could focus on the next dumbass who was ready to enter the rumble.

Whoever was number three, Red was ready for a fight.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Here comes number three! I can't wait!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #3: Mike Seaver (Growing Pains)  
**

As the buzzer sounded, a teenager with a curly brown mullet and decked out in Sonny Crockett clothes came out to the curtain to perhaps a mixed reaction. Most of the cheers came out from the _Growing Pains_ fangirls, while the boos came out from the rest of the Chicagoans who all chanted "New York Sucks" because of how he resided there.

Being appreciated by the cheers the female demographic gave him, the third entrant all managed to give them high fives on his way down the aisle.

 **JBL:** Hey, here's another returning favorite!

 **Michael Cole:** Fresh out from the last Sitcom Royal Rumble, it's Mike Seaver from _Growing Pains!_

 **Jerry Lawler:** Last time we saw him, he used a brick disguised as a bible!

 **JBL:** I can't wait to see what that kid's got planned next.

After he was finished giving out high-fives, Mike entered the ring and went to work right away.

Unfortunately, he didn't bring out a bible-disguised brick, but all he got was his feet. He successfully pulled out high-risk dropkicks on both Red and Cliff while feeding out the energy from his fangirls.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Wow, look at that kid go!

 **JBL:** Look at that kid lay it on to both of them!

Red immediately got back up and tried to hit a clothesline on Mike, but the teenager quickly ducked down and grabbed the hardass by the neck, connecting with a surprising neckbreaker.

While Red was down, Mike decided to do some friendly taunting down to his face.

 **Mike Seaver:** *to Red* Mike 3:16 said I just whooped your butt!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Okay, that's gotta be the worst "Stone Cold" impression I've ever heard!

 **JBL:** It may not be the best, but it's quite good! He's the PG-rated Stone Cold!

Mike Seaver than faced off against Cliff Huxtable, who tried to sneak attack him with a punch out of nowhere.

Mike managed to catch the punch just in time. Hanging onto Cliff's fist, Mike looked to the upper right turnbuckle, thinking up an idea.

 **Jerry Lawler:** What does Mike have in mind here?

Still clutching Cliff's fist, Mike decided to leap to the middle and top rope and fly back, hitting Cliff Huxtable with not just a springboard spinning arm drag...

...

...

...but trapping Red Forman with a aerial head scissors on his way down! Despite the mixed reaction Mike got when he entered the ring, he actually got a cheap pop for that move.

 **Michael Cole:** DEAR LORD!

 **JBL:** That kid is insane!

 **Jerry Lawler:** That's something you don't see everyday, especially when you're Mike Seaver!

Mike Seaver managed to show off for the crowd a bit, which actually got him loud cheers coming from this fangirls.

Not containing their cheers much often, Mike Seaver managed to leave under the ring so he can sign some autographs for his fans.

 **JBL:** Check this out, the girls definitely love him!

 **Michael Cole:** Well, he definitely has a way with the ladies, as far as being a teen heartthrob in the 80's is concerned.

 **Jerry Lawler:** As fun as this is for him, he's wasting time!

 **JBL:** He's just making time, not wasting time. It's two totally different words.

After signing off a few autographs for few of his fans, Mike Seaver came back up on the apron...

...

...

...only to get hit by a Superman punch coming from Red Forman, which knocked him off the apron and down to the floor. But since Mike Seaver actually left the ring under the ropes, he was still in the matchup regardless since he was never eliminated!

 **Michael Cole:** What a Superman punch by Red!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL, chuckling* Ever familiar with the line 'Show me that smile again'? I'm afraid Mike's smile just got wiped off his face!

 **JBL:** That's not right, I actually like his smile.

While Mike was laid out unconscious on the floor, both Red and Cliff got back to their hand-to-hand brawl between the two dads.

However, as that was going on, the crowd all anticipated who would come out as the 4th entrant in the match. With the clock ticking down, the fans all awaited with anticipation.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Number 4's coming up! Who's it gonna be?

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #4: Charlie Kelly (It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia)**

While the buzzer sounded for the 4th time, a man dressed up in a denim jacket, denim jeans came out to a lukewarm ovation from the fans.

He wasn't alone though as he also wore an American flag headband around his head, looking very similar to Willie Robertson from _Duck Dynasty_ or Luther Campbell from the 2 Live Crew.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh man, did this just get interesting now! **  
**

 **JBL:** Oh come on, anyone but this hotheaded loony! Why did it have to be him?

 **Michael Cole:** For those of you who aren't familiar with him, it's Charlie Kelly from FX's It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia!

 **JBL:** This is gonna be a nightmare...

Rushing down to the ring, Charlie Kelly managed to enter the ring like most high-flyers do, which was over the top rope.

As both Cliff and Red looked up top, Charlie flew with the greatest of ease in the form of a double missile dropkick!

 **Michael Cole:** Whoa! What a dropkick!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Now that's mad!

Kipping up to his feet, Shawn Michaels-style, Charlie immediately went to work on Cliff Huxtable.

With Cliff onto his knees, Charlie started unloading hard kicks on Cliff's chest, a la Daniel Bryan. Suddenly, the crowd all broke out in 'yes' chants through every kick that Charlie pulled off. By then, Cliff's chest were burnt red like lava itself.

 **JBL:** Oh great, who does this guy think he is, Daniel Bryan Jr.?

 **Jerry Lawler:** By the way he's pulling off those kicks with grace, he might as well be!

 **Michael Cole:** Momentum's clearly on Charlie's side right about now!

As Cliff stood on his knees dazed and confused, Charlie began to throw in the final kick.

But Cliff managed to duck at the nick of time, which forces Charlie to kick Red instead, bringing the hardass down to his knees.

 **JBL:** Whoa! Cliff nearly avoided death there!

 **Jerry Lawler:** But now, Red's receiving the punishment here!

Just like what he did to Cliff, Charlie unloaded those fierce hard kicks to Red's chest completely.

And yet again, the crowd kept it going with the 'yes' chants as each kick was given. By then, Red's chest was even more redder than Cliff's, nearly forming deep deep scars. But still, Red was getting through the pain like a champ.

 **Michael Cole:** Oh dear, how many kicks is Red Forman taking at this point?

 **JBL:** As far as I'm concerned, I think maybe around 10.

 **Jerry Lawler:** More like forever!

Just like Cliff, Red grew dazed and confused, but Charlie still wanted to get that last shot in.

So he swung his foot for the last time, but just like Cliff, Red ducked. However, he ended up swinging his foot over Cliff's head instead, knocking him out!

 **JBL:** Whoa! What a knockout by this psycho!

 **Jerry Lawler:** It was so loud, I think the mayor of Chicago heard it from here!

Charlie was still ticked off that he didn't get Red. But with Red still on his knees, Charlie still wanted to get the final blow.

But before he could though, Mike Seaver snuck up behind Charlie and surprised him with a Back Stabber! That of course, ruined Charlie's momentum in the matchup so far.

 **Michael Cole:** Oh, a Back Stabber out of nowhere!

 **JBL:** I'm thinking Charlie forgot about Kir-um, I mean Mike Seaver there!

Once again, Mike was greeted by the usual mixed reaction from that move. The fangirls loved it while the Chicago natives didn't.

Meanwhile, the Rumble clock started lighting up once again, therefore bringing in another entrant by the count of 10.

 **JBL:** Here comes number 5! I'm psyched for this one!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #5: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor (Home Improvement)**

As the buzzer sounded, a man with a blue shirt, black tie, denim jeans and signature tool belt made his way down the aisle to a bunch of grunts. Those were the same type of grunts that was heard on the show _Home Improvement_.

Of course, it was the same grunts uttered by the fifth entrant, now competing in this matchup.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Ohh, I know what time it is right here!

 **Michael Cole:** From _Home Improvement_ , it's the guy known as the Tool Man, Tim Taylor!

 **JBL:** Oh yeah, it's Tool Time! I wonder if they're gonna bring in the hot blonde assistant from the show?

 **Jerry Lawler:** Yeah, I always wanted to see some 'puppies' in this match!

Before he could enter the ring altogether, Tim stopped in his tracks and analyzed the situation here.

So far, there was Mike Seaver, Red Forman, Charlie Kelly and Cliff Huxtable all brawling inside the ring for a chance to victory. So he figured out to himself, how good would a match be with some tools involved? Smirking deep down in his hardware loving-soul, he decided to look under the apron.

 **JBL:** What on earth is Tim Taylor doing?

 **Jerry Lawler:** Whatever it is, it's definitely not gonna look good for the contestants in the ring!

With a smirk, Tim Taylor brought out a table so he could set it to ringside. That definitely got the fans delight going, which of course, they chanted 'we want tables' repeatedly over and over again.

 **Michael Cole:** Looks like we're getting into some tables, it seems!

 **Jerry Lawler:** This guy definitely knows his tools for sure!

One table wasn't enough for Tim to be satisfied.

So he needed to up the ante by setting another table to the other corner of the ring. Meanwhile, while that was going on, Mike Seaver was busy literally putting his foot in Charlie's mouth in the upper left turnbuckle. The harder he pressed his foot, the harder it made Charlie to breathe!

 **Mike Seaver:** *to Charlie* You're a bad influence to everyone, including your friends! What's wrong with you? **  
**

 **Charlie Kelly:** *to Mike* I'd... say the same thing. Your foot... f***ing... smells!

 **JBL:** Mike telling that Psycho what it is.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Talk about a foot-in-mouth disease!

While Charlie begged to get some air, Tim still wasn't satisfied with all of this table setting down at ringside.

So, instead of two tables, he wanted to go for three tables, which got this crowd pumped up.

 **JBL:** Look at this, this guy is wasting time setting up tables. *to Tim* Get in the ring already and start going Tool Time on everyone!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'm pretty sure he's got an creative idea, JBL.

 **Michael Cole:** We've seen him experiment some of the tools he tests on his show, so it's very different to what we're seeing here!

After setting the third table, Tim wanted to go for the motherlode.

So he got to the other side of the ring, and pulled out the fourth table at ringside. So far, there were four tables being set in each side of the ring. With that being said, Tim finally managed to get in the ring. But yet, he stopped for some reason.

 **JBL:** What? Why in the hell is he stopping?

 **Jerry Lawler:** Maybe he's got some second thoughts.

Suddenly, a sick sadistic smirk lit up Tim's face like an evil mastermind.

So he got back down and searched under the apron once more. When he came back up however, he grabbed a bag full of thumbtacks! The crowd saw this and just blew their flipping minds out of the building.

 **JBL:** Oh no, you gotta be kidding me!

 **Michael Cole:** Oh man, this isn't gonna be good!

 **Jerry Lawler:** As if the Sitcom Royal Rumble wasn't sick enough, Tim Taylor just turned up the sick level to 11! I pray someone doesn't meet the end of that soon to be thumbtack covered-table.

With a sick smile, Tim poured out the entire glob of tacks on the table, hoping someone would go through it later on.

After finally throwing the bag away, Tim finally managed to get in the ring. But he wasted too much valuable time with all the table settings that it was more than enough for the next entrant to come out. With all the tables set in the ring (especially the one covered in tacks), the 6th entrant of the match was gonna have a lot on his hands.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Number six is coming up! Who's on deck?

 _ **To be continued next chapter...**_

* * *

 **Looks like we'll have to see who Tim Taylor's truly made up in the next chapter. Until then, here are the stats!  
**

 **Eliminated: So far, none.**

 **Still in the ring: Charlie Kelly, Cliff Huxtable, Mike Seaver, Red Forman and Tim Taylor**

 **Entrants in the ring: 5**

 **Entrants still left to go: 45**

 **Who has drawn number 6? Who really ate my shorts? Find out on the next chapter! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off!**

 **Who will we see next in this extravaganza? Which new faces will show up? And will I ever get those double chocolate brownies I was promised like last time? The fists start flying next chapter! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off for now!**


	4. Ch 4: How The Bunk'd Became Punk'd

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: How The Bunk'd Became Punk'd  
**

* * *

While the carnage continued, the Rumble timer ticked down to it's next entrant.

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #6:** **Emma Ross (Jessie/BUNK'D)**

As the buzzer sounded, a beautifully attractive 17-year old girl with blonde hair came out from the titantron to huge cheers.

Basically, her outfit had included hot pants, black boots, black knee-pads taped-gloves and a CM Punk Ice Cream Bar t-shirt for good measure. Her choice of apparel is what forced the fans in a complete frenzy, therefore liking her tribute to a certain Straight Edge superstar/hometown hero.

 **JBL:** What the heck is this?

 **Jerry Lawler:** *chuckling* I don't usually see this much often, but it's Emma Ross from _Jessie_ and _BUNK'D_ channeling CM Punk!

 **Michael Cole:** And this crowd is loving it!

 **JBL:** She's nuts! What's she gonna do, hit her opponents with bad fashion sense?!

Looking around at the sea of people, Emma went down on one knee and checked her imaginary watch.

Bringing that imaginary watch to her ear, Emma pulled off CM Punk's signature battle cry.

 **Emma Ross:** *shouting* It's clobbering time!

And then, Emma took off on feet rushing to the ring.

As she got inside, Cliff Huxtable tried to swing at her, but Emma ducked and pulled off two palm strikes, a backhand and a hard roundhouse kick for good measure!

 **JBL:** Whoa! I didn't expect that!

 **Michael Cole:** Emma with a combo out of nowhere!

The kick got Cliff Huxtable stunned enough for Emma to whip him to the upper right corner.

Suddenly, Emma sprinted over to Cliff and hit a hard Shining Wizard through his face, followed by a running bulldog. At the same time while holding on Cliff's head, Charlie Kelly (who had his eyes raked by Red Forman) was hit by a clothesline by Emma, therefore hitting a clothesline/running bulldog combo on both men! So far, the momentum was now on Emma's side!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Ah, she got both men at the same time!

 **JBL:** Yeah, but honestly, I say CM Punk does it way better than Emma does.

 **Michael Cole:** Yeah, well what do you call that?

Meanwhile, down at Ring #2, Red Forman was already in a pickle, having to be part of a 10-punch salute caused by Mike Seaver.

With every punch landing straight to his head, Red's entire cranium was getting more woozy at the moment. Once again, Mike Seaver showed off to his fangirls who cheered at him loudly. From the entire Chicago faithful however, they were getting bored at him.

 **Mike Seaver:** *to the crowd* I got a brand new commandment... thou shall let me throw this buttwad out!

Unfortunately for Mike, he wouldn't get a chance to as Tim Taylor snuck up behind him and lifted Mike on his shoulders.

The Chicago crowd were begging to see Mike get eliminated, but Tim had other plans.

 **Michael Cole:** Tim's got Mike in the electric chair!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I hate to see what he's gonna do to that kid next.

With another man-grunt, Tim dropped the kid on his neck with a Stun Gun.

But that wasn't the end of it, the Tool Man than raised his leg and sent it straight to Mike's junk, making him cringe and cry in pain!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *yelping* Yah! Oh, god!

 **Michael Cole:** *cringing* OHHHH, MAAAN!

 **JBL:** Well, Mike's definitely gonna have 'growing pains' for a while!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *chuckling* No kidding!

Meanwhile, while Mike was slowly recovering from that nut-shot, Emma Ross tried his best to eliminate both Charlie Kelly and Cliff Huxtable from the Rumble by pushing both of them over the top rope.

Try as she could, Emma couldn't. The two guys combined weight took a toll on her, as she looked very light for her weight.

 **JBL:** What in the hell was she thinking?

 **Michael Cole:** At least give her an 'A' for effort. **  
**

 **JBL:** I might as well give her an 'F' while I'm at it, because there's no frickin' way she's ever picking both of them up? Who does Emma think she is, Ryback?

As Emma was busy wrenching her back from that attempt, the Rumble clock started ticking down again. Which meant that entrant #7 was about to make his way imminently.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Here comes lucky number seven! Who's it gonna be?

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*****

 **Entrant #7:** **Carl McMillan (Mike & Molly)**

As the buzzer sounded, a skinny black Chicago policeman came out of the curtain to a good hometown pop.

Knowing that he was from Chicago (which was right here), he had homefield advantage. Everyone was familiar with this entrant because he was closely associated with his best friend/police partner, Mike Biggs. This time, he was going alone.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Well, talk about homefield advantage! Look who's next!

 **Michael Cole:** From _Mike & Molly_, it's one of the returnees from the last Sitcom Royal Rumble, Officer Carl McMillan!

 **JBL:** I wonder what he's gonna do without his partner around to back him up?

While the people chanted Carl's name over and over again, Carl entered the ring and scouted the competition.

He saw Emma Ross clutching onto the ropes like a spider monkey while trying to prevent a 2-on-1 elimination between her and the team of Cliff and Charlie. On the other hand, he saw both Tim Taylor and Red Forman brawl it out in the second ring, while Mike Seaver was laying down in the ring holding his third leg in pain.

Seeing the thumbtack-covered table outside, Carl let out a huge smirk on his face.

 **JBL:** What does he got planned?

 **Michael Cole:** I don't know, but I wouldn't want to be the other contestants for sure!

With his idea in place, Carl managed to get Mike up to his feet.

And then, he set him up in a powerbomb position. With Mike up on his shoulders, the rest of the Chicago faithful all pointed to the thumbtack-covered table, making sure they wanted to see Mike Seaver get put through it. Luckily for them, Carl wanted to do just that.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh boy, this is gonna be bad!

 **JBL:** There's no way Carl's gonna do this!

 **Michael Cole:** I can't watch!

With great strength, Carl launched Mike off his shoulders...

...

...

...

...and sent him crashing through the tacky table in a huge pop!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *shrieking* OH MY-!

 **Michael Cole:** Oh my lord!

 **JBL:** *shouting* He killed him! Carl just killed Mike Seaver with a thumbtack table!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Mike Seaver may be dead for sure!

 **1st Eliminated: Mike Seaver; Eliminated by: Carl McMillan; Duration: 4:18**

The rest of the competitors all stopped to see Mike Seaver screaming in pain outside the ring. Just the feeling of those little thumbtacks piercing the skin, made little ounces of blood drop all over the back of his arms and shoulders.

The Chicago faithful all chanted 'holy s**t' all over again from this moment. In a matter of minutes, Mike Seaver went from teenage romeo to human pin-cushion in a matter of seconds.

 **Michael Cole:** We may need some medical help for this guy.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Heck, maybe a morgue if there's one in place!

While a medical team went down the aisle to tend to Mike, Emma Ross capitalized on the distraction by roundhouse kicking Cliff Huxtable in the back of his head, knocking him out for the time being!

 **JBL:** Oh man, what a kick by Emma!

 **Michael Cole:** That's gotta hurt for Cliff!

But Emma wasn't done here. She then capitalized more by dropkicking Charlie Kelly right by the knee.

With him down on one knee, Emma rushed to the ropes and back again, dropkicking Charlie right in the face!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Emma is cleaning house here!

 **Michael Cole:** The distraction from outside the ring definitely worked for her.

 **JBL:** Talk about a total sneak.

While Emma was busy building her momentum back, Tim Taylor was still at ring #2, trying to push Red over the top rope and onto the apron.

Like Emma, Red also showed excellent grip strength, clutching onto the ropes tightly as he could. Yet, Tim still wasn't giving up on getting Red out the match.

 **Tim Taylor:** *as he's pushing Red* Oh dear, did... did you eat Al's mother for lunch?

 **Red Forman:** *as he's hanging on* The only thing... you're gonna be eating... is your own ass, Tool man!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Look at Tim huffing and puffing as he can!

 **JBL:** Well, he definitely ain't no big bad wolf, that's for sure!

Suddenly, Tim Taylor got an extra hand coming from Carl McMillan, making this a 2-on-1 elimination process.

While Red was hanging on dear life, the Rumble clock lit up yet again, bringing in the 8th entrant so far.

 **Michael Cole:** We're about to bring in number 8? Who will be next?

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*****

 **Entrant #8:** **Shelby Marcus (Best Friends Whenever)**

As the buzzer sounded off again, a blonde-haired female teen dressed in a gray shirt, green jacket and denim jeans made her way down the aisle. For a newcomer, she definitely got a lukewarm reception from this Chicago crowd.

While making her way down the aisle, she managed to get a fist bump from her three friends at ringside, Cyd, Barry and Naldo.

 **JBL:** Okaaaaay, I have no idea who this is.

 **Michael Cole:** Honestly, if you've been watching Disney Channel recently, that's Shelby Marcus from the new show _Best Friends Whenever_!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* You really gotta watch that show. It's not bad.

 **JBL:** Eh, I'm a _Hannah Montana_ man myself.

As Shelby got inside the ring, she saw Carl and Tim try desperately to push Red out of the Rumble at ring #2.

Trying to make things even, Shelby snuck up behind Carl and tossed him around with a German suplex!

 **Michael Cole:** What a suplex by Shelby!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I never thought a girl like that had such strength before!

 **JBL:** Well, like it or not, you saw it!

That suplex rattled Carl's brain a bit.

Not finished with him yet, Shelby got Carl up again, but this time, she hit him with a dragon suplex!

 **JBL:** Another suplex!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Don't tell me Shelby's not gonna take Carl to Suplex City already!

 **JBL:** I'm impressed! She's been watching a lot of Brock Lesnar matches!

Once again, Shelby was not done with Carl.

As the policeman got up for the third time, Shelby grabbed him again and hit a tiger suplex. But at the very same time that she hit it, Red Forman managed to recover and nail Carl with a superkick, making it into a superplex/tiger suplex combination for sure!

 **Michael Cole:** Hello, combo city!

 **JBL:** I think Carl's jaw just got shot up through the roof!

 **Jerry Lawler:** No kidding! That mouth definitely needs restitching!

Back at Ring #1, Emma Ross was busy trying to fight off the handicapped onslaught by both Charlie Kelly and Cliff Huxtable.

But out of nowhere, two fat twin tweenagers with pale skin and auburn hair came out from the entrance way and into the ring, where they started beating down on both Emma, Charlie and Cliff. The camera got a good look at them, and identified themselves as Chet and Bret from _Best Friends Whenever_.

 **JBL:** Hey, what the hell are these two brats doing here? They're not in the Rumble match!

 **Michael Cole:** Apparently, that's Chet and Bret, Shelby and Cyd's identical twin brothers from _Best Friends Whenever_!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *feeling puzzled* I can't tell which one's which!

 **Michael Cole:** One of them must be the ladies' man, I guess.

 **JBL:** Which one, the fat one beating up on Emma or the fat one beating up Charlie and Cliff?

Unfortunately for the twins, their beatdown didn't last long as Emma, Charlie and Cliff started fighting back. Emma started throwing hard rights at Chet's stomach, followed by a rake of the eyes and an old-fashioned toss-out out of the ring.

Bret of course, got unlucky himself as Charlie raised him up and racked Bret between the legs on the ropes. And then, it was followed by Cliff, who managed to punch Bret in the face, sending him down to the floor. However, even though they were thrown out of the ring, they were not participants in this match. So they had to leave for the time being.

 **JBL:** It's about time! Get those crappy ginger snaps out!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *rumbling* Why am I feeling hungry all of a sudden?

 **Chet:** *to Bret* I told you we've should've took chairs, Bret!

 **Bret:** *to Chet* Don't tell me what to do, Chet!

After the twins left high and dry, the Rumble clock started to light up on the titantron.

That of course, meant that another entrant was making his way in the count of 10.

 **Michael Cole:** We've got number nine coming up now! Who's it gonna be?

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*  
**  
** **Entrant #9.** **Peter Brady (The Brady Bunch)**

As the buzzer sounded, a kid with shaggy brown hair came out to a negative response from the crowd. The entire Chicago crowd was drowned out with "Bradys Suck" chants.

But despite the boos that were given to him, the 9th entrant took the time to high-five his way down the aisle.

 **JBL:** Hey, talk about a blast from the past!

 **Michael Cole:** For those of you not young enough to remember, this is Peter Brady from the 70's sitcom _The Brady Bunch_!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Yeah, but it looks like these fans aren't too Brady friendly!

 **JBL:** This is so disrespectful! These people should respect a legend like him!

However, Peter Brady didn't enter the ring. Instead, he took his time by going through all four corners and high-fiving more fans.

He was too blind to even see the middle fingers that was thrown at him, but that didn't effect Peter one bit. Instead, it motivated him.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Peter seems to think the fans actually like him.

 **JBL:** If they'd really like him, they cheer him instead of frickin' boo him!

After he was finished high-fiving the fans, Peter finally got in the ring...

...

...

...only to be grabbed from the back by Charlie Kelly, and thrown over the top rope and onto the floor immediately, eliminating him to a bunch of cheers!

 **JBL:** Wha- what the hell?!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *chuckling* Well, bye bye Brady!

 **Michael Cole:** That didn't last very long!

 **JBL:** *angrily* This is ridiculous! So unfair!

 **2nd Eliminated: Peter Brady; Eliminated by: Charlie Kelly; Duration: 0:02**

Peter Brady was shocked that he was eliminated very early. Luckily for him, he didn't break the record for being the least-lasting superstar so far _(Howard Wolowitz currently holds the record for shortest time in 0:01.8 seconds)_.

Despite being a little disappointed, Peter decided to take his defeat in stride, only for Charlie to taunt at him from ringside.

 **Peter Brady:** *complaining* Ah, porkchops and applesauce!

 **Charlie Kelly:** *to Peter* 'Porkchops and applesauce' that, you little f**k!

 **Michael Cole:** Charlie telling it like it is to Peter.

After Peter's departure from ringside, both Red Forman and Shelby Marcus were busy double teaming the hell out of Tim Taylor. They were planning to slam the Tool Man with a double suplex.

Tim did his best to prevent being slammed by trapping his leg around Red's, but Shelby managed to hit Tim right in the ribs, just to make him stop fighting back.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Look at this team-up!

 **JBL:** Never imagined a hardass and a teenage time-traveler teaming up here!

 **Michael Cole:** Bizarre as they are, team-ups can happen!

Getting Tim roughed up, Red and Shelby lifted Tim off the ground...

...

...

...only for Emma Ross to catch Tim on the way down. As both Shelby and Red turned around, Emma and Tim connected with both twin super kicks!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *cringing* YOUCH!

 **Michael Cole:** Double kicks by both Emma or Tim!

 **JBL:** I don't know what's surprising me more, Emma and Tim teaming up, or the fact that Tim Taylor just pulled off a frickin' superkick!

With both Shelby and Red feeling the effects of that move, Carl McMillan managed to make a quick recovery and went to Ring #1, connecting Cliff Huxtable with an airplane spin.

With Cliff on his shoulders, Carl started spinning around a good portion of the ring. Through every rotation, Cliff's face started turning a little green, indicating sickness. Everyone around Chicago started counting every revolution that Carl had performed on Cliff. So far, Carl had spun Cliff around at a good 13 times.

 **JBL:** Whoa, I think Cliff's gonna be sick!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Carl's like a top spinning around everywhere!

 **JBL:** Cliff should get a barfbag for sure.

But before Carl could spin Cliff around for a 14th time though, Charlie Kelly came out of nowhere and gored Carl, knocking both the policeman and Cliff down!

Despite Charlie striking one of Chicago's own, he got a huge pop from that spear. That also brought in a huge 'holy s**t' chant for good measure.

 **Michael Cole:** Spear! Right to Carl!

 **JBL:** Charlie nearly tore Carl in half!

 **Jerry Lawler:** That could've looked like something from Mortal Kombat!

 **JBL:** Yeah. Talk about a fatality.

While Carl remained incapacitated from that Spear, the entire Chicago crowd all looked through the titantron where the Rumble clock lit up.

They were up on their feet, awaiting the 10th entrant of the match to appear.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Number 10's coming up! Who will it be?

 _ **To be continued next chapter...**_

* * *

 **Number 10's definitely gonna be something else. Until then, let's see what stats we have!  
**

 **Eliminated: Mike Seaver, Peter Brady  
**

 **Still in the ring: Carl McMillan, Charlie Kelly, Cliff Huxtable, Emma Ross, Red Forman, Shelby Marcus and Tim Taylor**

 **Entrants in the ring: 7**

 **Entrants still left to go: 41  
**

 **Which lucky guy/girl has drawn number 10? Do I really have to give you the answer? I would tell you, but you'll just have to find out until next chapter! OPA!**

 **And one more thing:**

 _ **In Memory**_

 _ **Rowdy "Roddy" Piper**_

 _ **April 17, 1954 - July 31, 2015**_


	5. Ch 5: Dummies Are Dummies

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Dummies Are Dummies  
**

* * *

The chaos in the ring had continued until the 10th entrant made his/her way.

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #10:** **Robbie Shapiro (Victorious)**

As the buzzer sounded, a teenager (who looked just like Andy Samberg) with glasses came out of the curtain to a lukewarm ovation.

But he wasn't alone. In his hand was a puppet, who just happened to be his best friend/confidant Rex.

 **JBL:** Hey, I didn't know one of the members of _Saturday Night Live_ was competing on there!

 **Michael Cole:** *to JBL* Um, that's not Andy Samberg, that's Robbie Shapiro from the Nickelodeon show _Victorious_.

 **Jerry Lawler:** And his buddy Rex is with him, too!

 **JBL:** Huh, I figured he looked a lot like Andy.

Meanwhile, as Robbie tried to get in the ring, Rex suddenly held on to the ropes (which was weird because he was a puppet and he didn't move his arms).

Noticing this, Robbie turned to his friend!

 **Robbie Shapiro:** *to Rex* No no, Rex, it's just me competing! You stay outside!

 **Rex:** *to Robbie* No Robbie, I want to show everyone by beasty-feasty mode!

 **Robbie Shapiro:** *to Rex* You can save that for another time! At least sit in the corner until I win!

 **JBL:** *looking puzzled* Ummmm, is that guy talking to his puppet? That's weird.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Maybe, but he never leaves home without him!

After Robbie put Rex down in the turnbuckle, he turned around only to see Charlie Kelly nail the geek with a Codebreaker!

And while Robbie was stumbling over the ropes, Charlie rushed right at him and clotheslined Robbie over the top rope and onto the floor!

 **JBL:** Well, looks like the dummy's out!

 **Michael Cole:** Barely any experience from Robbie there!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Talk about getting your strings cut!

 **3rd Eliminated: Robbie Shapiro; Eliminated by: Charlie Kelly; Duration: 0:12**

While Robbie was laid out on the floor, Charlie came up to the dummy itself.

He hated how Rex was staring at him with those big eyes and slackered jaw. And that haircut was so godawful, it looked like an afro got stuck in a tornado. So he decided to do what he should have done in the first place.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Uh-oh, Rex better get out of here!

 **JBL:** *to King* Why? For a puppet, he cant even move his legs!

It was too late for Rex to get away. Charlie harshly grabbed him by his leg and held him upside down.

As an insult to injury, Charlie stared down at Rex and decided to taunt him.

 **Charlie Kelly:** *to Robbie* Say goodbye to your ugly wooden friend, ya p***k!

With the force of an atom bomb, Charlie threw Rex out of the ring, and smashed him onto the floor in pieces!

Robbie had shuddered in horror, seeing his best friend/puppet in separate pieces. What's worse, Rex had become headless (he's a puppet, just so everyone knows)!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Uh-oh, looks like Rex has been eliminated as well!

 **Michael Cole:** Not in a very good way, though!

Suddenly, Robbie started moving by his knees and cradled what was last of Rex.

As tears started forming around his face, he grieved for his fallen friend!

 **Robbie Shapiro:** *shouting* WHHHHHHHHY! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIM LIKE THIS? ALL HE WANTED IN LIFE WAS TO BE A FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT! WHHHHHY?

 **JBL:** *shouting to Robbie* Hey, quit your whining, you big baby! There's no crying in WWE!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* Easy, JBL! You didn't have to go hard on him!

 **JBL:** Hey, it's not my fault that dummy should've never got in the ring in the first place!

 **Michael Cole:** It was Rex's idea to get in the ring in the first place!

 **JBL:** *to Cole* I was talking about Robbie! Get your mind straight, you salmon!

Still in tears, Robbie decided to pick up what was left of his friend and head straight back up the aisle.

The camera even managed to get a good shot at his crying face and his fallen, broken friend. Discovering that he was being filmed, Robbie decided to cover himself.

 **Robbie Shapiro:** *crying to the camera* Go away! Give us some privacy, will ya!

 **JBL:** Wow. Someone needs his binky.

Robbie's little outburst definitely took a lot of time in the Rumble match to begin with.

So far, Tim Taylor and Red Forman were going after Cliff, and Carl McMillan was trying to withstand a two-on-one onslaught against Emma Ross and Shelby Marcus. While that was going on, the clock down at the titantron lit up again, bringing in the 11th entrant.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Number 11's coming up! I can't wait for this!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #11:** **Larry Appleton (Perfect Strangers)**

As the buzzer sounded for the 11th time, a man with a short frizzy afro and decked out in a formal suit made his way to a brilliant pop.

Which would sound surprising since he resides here in Chicago, Illinois. Being appreciated by this hometown ovation, he scurried down the aisle!

 **JBL:** Hey hey, I'm familiar with this guy!

 **Michael Cole:** Straight off from _Perfect Strangers_ , it's Larry Appleton!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'm surprised many people today still know who he is!

While the Chicago faithful were busy chanting out Larry's name over and over again, he entered the ring to see Carl fight off two blondes.

Larry decided to make that even as he rushed right over to Carl's side and delivered a double dropkick to Emma, followed by another double dropkick to Shelby.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Look at this teamwork here!

 **Michael Cole:** Two of Chicago's finest taking it to Emma and Shelby!

With adrenaline pumping through his veins, Carl then whipped Larry over to Shelby with a Stinger Splash. After that, Larry whipped Shelby over to Carl, who connected with a Black Hole Slam!

 **JBL:** Whoa, what a sidewalk slam!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I think that was enough to toss Shelby's cookies there!

The people were still on their feet for the duo.

Both Carl and Larry turned their attention to Emma, who ended up being body slammed by Carl. After the body slam, Larry decided to go up top rope at the same time Carl spreaded Emma's legs. What would happen next would not be very pretty for sure.

 **Michael Cole:** Oh no...

 **Jerry Lawler:** *chuckling* Please tell me they're not gonna Whazzup!

 **JBL:** I hope Emma packed a tampon for this, because this isn't gonna end good!

As Emma tried to break free, Carl looked up at Larry as they exchanged 'Whazzup' at each other.

Then, Larry launched himself off the top rope and headbutted Emma right between the legs! Everyone in Chicago all cringed in pain as Emma held onto his groin in excruciating fashion. She even wobbled around a good portion of the ring, hissing and screaming painfully like a pregnant woman!

 **Michael Cole:** Dear lord, that hurts!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *chuckling* Poor Emma!

 **JBL:** Oh screw that, she's gonna need thousand tampons for that impact!

Meanwhile, down at Ring #2, Cliff Huxtable and Charlie Kelly both had Red Forman down in a double flapjack, while Tim Taylor foolishly got stuck in the ropes.

With Charlie standing around Red's head and Cliff around Red's legs, they had in idea in mind.

 **Michael Cole:** What do they have in mind?

 **JBL:** I definitely don't wanna find out for sure.

As a smirk lit up his face, Charlie sat on Red's lower back and nailed a perfect Camel Clutch, while Cliff connected with a Boston Crab, making it into a double submission move. Although submissions don't count in the Rumble, the excruciating pain was definitely enough for Red's back to stiffen, which would prove effective for Red to be thrown over the top rope and onto the floor.

Red tried to escape on his own, but the combined weight of Charlie and Cliff was too much for him. He often hoped that his son or one of his dumbass friends that Red likes to call them would help him out. Otherwise, it wasn't happening.

 **Jerry Lawler:** What a combo!

 **JBL:** That's enough to make Red's back crack like a walnut!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Considering how old Red Forman is, I think his back's already been cracked!

As Red got caught in a total mosh, the Rumble clock once again appeared.

The faithful Chicago fans all rose up to see which entrant was about to come out at a count of 10.

 **Michael Cole:** Number 12's coming up! Who's it gonna be?

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*  
**  
 **Entrant #12:** **Victoria Flynn (Mike & Molly)**

With the buzzer sounding, an attractive brunette dressed in a sleek red long-sleeved dress came out to cat-calls and hollers from Chicago's male demographic. Knowing that she was also from Chicago, she got a good stellar ovation.

Apparently, the next entrant had shown a lot of cleavage from her stacked chest and around her legs, which definitely got men's hearts inside the arena going. She wanted to prove that her curves could definitely be a factor in this match!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh man, it's about time we saw puppies!

 **Michael Cole:** Talk about surprises! Drawing number 12 is Victoria Flynn from CBS's _Mike & Molly_!

 **JBL:** With Carl in the ring as well, who knows what's gonna happen between the two!

Seeing Carl in the ring, Victoria decided to get his attention by shouting at him!

 **Victoria Flynn:** *shouting to Carl* HEY CARL, LOOK AT ME!

 **Carl McMillan:** *to Victoria* Victoria, what are you doing here?!

 **Victoria Flynn:** *to Carl, excited* I'm in the Royal Rumble! I get to fight in an actual ring!

 **Carl McMillan:** *to Victoria, horrified* Are you on dope all of a sudden?! You're gonna get yourself killed!

 **Michael Cole:** I think Carl's not too excited to see Victoria!

 **Jerry Lawler:** It's like he doesn't want her to get hurt!

Unfortunately, Victoria's distraction to Carl proved to be a mistake.

That forced Shelby Marcus to capitalize by hitting Carl from behind with a Dragon Suplex!

 **JBL:** Oh, another suplex by Shelby! And it's all thanks to Victoria!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Yeah, although I'm not sure Victoria liked that!

Seeing her hubby being eye-raked by a teenage blonde, Victoria took that as an insult and went into bitch mode.

 **Victoria Flynn:** *angrily* That's it! No one lays their hand on my man except me!

With the rage of a cheetah, Victoria immediately hit the ring.

Looking at Shelby like a delicious target, Victoria speared her into the floor and started yanking her hair. And so did Shelby, which caused one ferocious catfight to go down! That definitely got the crowd pumping, chanting 'Yes' all over again in favor of this catfight.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, it's definitely going down in Chi-Town!

 **JBL:** I like it! Two cats fighting each other! It's like a Nat Geo special!

 **Michael Cole:** This is definitely turning to be a ferocious Rumble.

However, Shelby had the momentum, banging Victoria's head through the mat repeatedly. One by one, Shelby dribbled her like a basketball, not to mention messing up a part of her hair along the way.

Luckily, it wasn't for long as Victoria scratched Shelby's face hard, blinding her for the moment. With Shelby trying to restore her eyesight, Victoria capitalized on the occasion by putting Shelby's jacket over the blonde's head, throwing her over the top rope and onto the floor in elimination!

 **Michael Cole:** And Shelby's is gone!

 **Jerry Lawler:** She may be able to travel time, but unfortunately, her time's up!

 **4th Elimination: Shelby Marcus; Eliminated by: Victoria Flynn; Duration: 4:40**

Shelby got back up, looking disappointed that she was eliminated fairly early in the match, despite making an impression when she got in. She would have time traveled back in the past to redo her time in the Rumble, but unfortunately, powers were not allowed in the Rumble so she was gone permanently.

After Shelby's departure, both Tim Taylor and Larry Appleton spent their time stuffing their feet in Charlie's mouth at the left corner while Red took his sweet time recovering from that painful double submission move. Emma on the other hand, was in big trouble as she held on the ropes while preventing to get eliminated by Cliff Huxtable. While that was going on, the Rumble clock at the titantron lit up again, bringing in lucky number 13 for this match.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Here comes lucky number 13!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*  
**  
 **Entrant #13:** **Alex P. Keaton (Family Ties)**

As the buzzer sounded, a man dressed up in dark blue formal wear, blue tie and sneakers ran his way down the aisle to a lukewarm response from this crowd.

Like Mike Seaver, he also had fangirls of his own, which held up signs that read 'APK 4-EVER" and "MARRY ME ALEX' in big bold lettering. He looked so much like Marty McFly from Back To The Future, instead that he wasn't Marty McFly.

 **Jerry Lawler:** All right, what an entry this is!

 **Michael Cole:** Straight off from the NBC sitcom Family Ties, here comes Alex P. Keaton!

 **JBL:** Look at that outfit! He definitely knows how to dress sharp!

As Alex got in there, he looked around for good competition to fight. Suddenly, he found Emma trapped in the ropes, hoping not to get thrown out by Cliff Huxtable. Being the notable gentleman that he was, Alex decided to do the right thing.

So he snuck up behind Cliff and sent him over the top rope and onto the floor in a huge pop (only because the people hated Cliff Huxtable).

 **Jerry Lawler:** *shouting* WHOA! CLIFF'S OUT!

 **Michael Cole:** Cliff Huxtable's been eliminated! I repeat, Cliff Huxtable is eliminated!

 **JBL:** You mean to tell me that skinny toothpick eliminated the entrant who drew #50 last year is out?!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Believe it or not, he's out!

 **5th Eliminated: Cliff Huxtable; Eliminated by: Alex P. Keaton; Duration: 11:08**

Cliff Huxtable was outraged of his early departure.

So much in fact, that he tried to get back in the ring, just to get his hands all over Alex P. Keaton. Unfortunately for him, the ring officials took note of this and prevented Cliff from re-entering the match. Seeing this, the fans all chanted 'Keep him out' directed to Cliff himself.

 **Jerry Lawler:** What a sore loser that guy is!

 **JBL:** Can you blame him? That toothpick took him out!

 **Michael Cole:** I can say the fans are excited to see him go!

 **JBL:** *to Cole* Oh, you think you're all talk, aren't ya, Cole?

As the referees instructed Cliff to leave, the two chubby redheads, Chet and Bret, made their way down the aisle and got in the ring, hoping to weasel their way back in the match!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Bye bye, Clif- Hey, wait a minute!

 **JBL:** What are these two fat kids doing out there again? They're not in the match!

 **Michael Cole:** They just don't get the point.

Unfortunately, unlike their first encounter, they didn't get lucky as ever.

As they got in there, Alex P. Keaton, Tim Taylor, and Carl McMillan immediately started ganging up on Chet while Charlie Kelly and Larry Appleton ended up pounding away at Bret.

 **JBL:** Yeah, that's right. Get rid of them like cockroaches!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Hopefully, they'll get the point sooner or later!

The results were the same, yet different. Red, Tim and Carl had immediately got rid of Chet while Bret had the worst fate of them all.

Both Charlie and Larry threw Bret over the top rope, only for the chubby redhead's face to hit the ground floor. The people immediately cringed when they saw Bret take the painful impact!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, geez!

 **Michael Cole:** That can't be good!

 **JBL:** I think a dentist is in order!

As Bret followed his twin brother Chet up the aisle with a slackered jaw, Victoria and Emma started brawling out at Ring #2.

Victoria definitely had the upper hand as she powerbombed Emma through the upper right turnbuckle.

 **Michael Cole:** Ooh, a powerbomb to the turnbuckle.

 **JBL:** I think Victoria's about to go Seth Rollins on Emma's face!

Channeling her inner Seth Rollins, Victoria ran towards the ropes and back again, hoping to nail Emma with a curb stomp.

But as she leaped, Emma ended up catching Victoria on his shoulders, which forced the crowd to leap up to their feet!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *shouting* WHOA!

 **Michael Cole:** *in shock* Are you kidding me!?

 **JBL:** What a counter by Emma Ross!

Victoria tried to shake loose from Emma's grip, but couldn't.

With a vicious smile on her face, Emma dropped her face right on her knee with a Go To Sleep!

 **Michael Cole:** GTS! Emma hit her with the GTS!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I think those precious whites may be knocked out!

 **JBL:** That may be the most insane GTS I've ever seen in my life!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'll say! Victoria's mouth may need a lot of restitching for sure!

As the crowd started chanting Emma's name for that insane move, the crowd all turned to the entrance way.

It was clear that the 14th entrant was soon making his way any minute. Whoever it was, he/she didn't want no part of that sick GTS that Emma just put on Victoria moments ago.

 **JBL:** Number 14's on his way! I can't wait to see who it is!

 _ **To be continued next chapter...**_

* * *

 **Number 14 will make his/her way next chapter, folks. So just to keep you all occupied, here are the stats!  
**

 **Eliminated: Mike Seaver, Peter Brady, Robbie Shapiro, Shelby Marcus and** **Cliff Huxtable**

 **Still in the ring: Alex P. Keaton, Carl McMillan, Charlie Kelly, Emma Ross, Larry Appleton, Red Forman, Tim Taylor and Victoria Flynn  
**

 **Entrants in the ring: 8**

 **Entrants still left to go: 37  
**

 **Will Red ever recover from the pain he's suffering!  
**

 **Will Victoria keep getting hurt without having Carl to help her?**

 **Will Chet and Bret ever stay away from the Rumble this time!**

 **Will someone get drunk later in the Rumble (not that I know of)?**

 **Next chapter will be coming soon, so stay tuned! BUTTS! _  
_**


	6. Ch 6: Boy Meets Rumble

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Boy Meets Rumble  
**

* * *

The chaos kept on going as the 14th entrant made his way.

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #** **14:** **Norm Peterson (Cheers)**

As the buzzer sounded, a fat man dressed in a light brown formal suit and frizzy hair walked down the aisle.

Apparently, he was fed with a huge round of boos. It was clear that the people who attended his event remembered the damage that Norm had done in the last Sitcom Royal Rumble (mostly because of his brutal attack on Ray Barone).

 **Jerry Lawler:** Uh-oh, look who's coming down!

 **Michael Cole:** Here's comes another returnee from last year's Sitcom Royal Rumble, Norm Peterson from Cheers!

 **JBL:** It's a good thing he's sober this time!

 **(FUN FACT: The Youtube channel, NewLegacyinc, would usually do these Royal Rumble Marathons in which any wrestlers who got number 14 would usually be fired or have bad luck. If you haven't seen them, I suggest you check them out. They are hilarious and they commentate on nothing but wrestling video games.)**

As he got in the ring, he stared down at Carl, who was busy having a little punch-out with Alex P. Keaton.

Doing a little damage, Norm decided to grab Carl from behind and headbutt him in the back of his head!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Ooooh, what a headbutt!

 **Michael Cole:** That was almost like blunt force!

 **JBL:** Believe me, one headbutt can hurt worse than that.

Not satisfied by one headbutt, Norm got in another headbutt, making Carl a victim of a huge headache later on.

And then, Carl threw him around a good portion of the ring like a rag doll.

 **Michael Cole:** WHOA! Did you see that!

 **JBL:** Wow, we're seeing a new Norm Peterson here!

 **Jerry Lawler:** A sober Norm at best!

Knowing that he already knocked Carl unconscious, Norm decided to take the trash out.

Picking up one of Chicago's finest, Norm draped Carl over the top rope and onto the floor, picking in his first elimination!

 **Jerry Lawler:** And Carl's out!

 **JBL:** Norm Peterson is putting on a killing! And he just did that to Carl McMillan!

 **6th Eliminated: Carl McMillan; Eliminated by: Norm Peterson; Duration: 7:21**

Already getting fed by the large boos from the angry Chicagoans, Norm decided to focus on a knocked out Victoria.

With Victoria still draped out by his knees, Norm picked her up in the Gorilla Press.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Uh-oh, this isn't gonna be good for Victoria!

 **Michael Cole:** This is gonna be a long way down!

Huffing and puffing, Norm used his strength to throw Victoria over the top rope and onto the floor, landing all over Carl! So far, it became the 2nd elimination for Norm.

 **JBL:** See ya later, Victoria!

 **Michael Cole:** Victoria couldn't recover fast enough from that GTS caused by Emma!

 **Jerry Lawler:** It's a good thing Carl broke her fall!

 **7th Elimination: Victoria Flynn; Eliminated by: Norm Peterson; Duration: 2:30**

Norm continued this momentum of boos, in which the fat drunk flipped off every fan sitting on ringside.

Meanwhile at ring #2, Charlie Kelly ended up hitting Red Forman with a huge backbreaker. While the hardass was busy wrenching his back, the bar owner ended up going under the ring, only to search for something under the apron.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh man, what's Charlie going for?

 **JBL:** Is he gonna hide in the ring? *to King* I remember you doing something like that in the '96 Royal Rumble.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Yeah, and that didn't do me good...

Truth be told, Charlie wasn't looking to hide under the ring. This was a battle he was looking to win, so Charlie decided to search for a weapon.

Apparently, there was so much weapons under there, that Charlie was having trouble deciding what he wanted.

 **Charlie Kelly:** *to the camera* There's too much s**t under there, I'm telling ya.

 **Michael Cole:** I definitely agree with Charlie there.

After only 10 seconds of searching, Charlie finally managed to pull out a steel ladder.

But as he was sliding it in the ring, Emma Ross came out of nowhere and dropkicked the ladder into Charlie, having his face knocked into the ledge!

 **Michael Cole:** Oh, DEAR GOD!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Charlie got it right in the face!

 **JBL:** I only hope he didn't end like Joey Mercury!

Luckily for Charlie, he didn't up like Joey Mercury in Armageddon '06. But yet, it was huge nasty bump that Charlie took for sure.

So while he was recovering outside the ring, Larry Appleton was busy being choked out in the middle rope by Tim Taylor. While that was going on, the countdown clock lit up on the titantron, bringing in another entrant.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Number 15's on his way now!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #15:** **Balki Bartokomous (Perfect Strangers)**

With the buzzer sounding, a man with wavy hair and dressed in a black matador's outfit made his way down the ring.

Like Carl McMillan, Victoria Flynn, and Larry Appleton, he also got a huge pop from the crowd, concerning he resided from Chicago.

 **JBL:** Whoa, looks like Larry's got some help!

 **Michael Cole:** Once again, it's another returnee from the last Sitcom Royal Rumble, Balki Bartokomous from _Perfect Strangers_!

 **Jerry Lawler:** The Man from Mypos is ready to go!

 **Balki Bartokomous:** *to Larry* Don't worry, I'll save you Cousin Larry!

Running like heck, Balki got in the ring and ran the ropes back and forth, hoping to surprise the Tool Man with a flying body press.

Unfortunately for the foreigner, Tim caught Balki immediately.

 **JBL:** Uh-oh, bad idea Balki!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Regardless, he managed to give Larry time to recover!

While holding Balki around in his shoulders, Tim Taylor did one of his signature man grunts from his show.

But before he could throw Balki like garbage, Larry recovered long enough to clip Tim right in the knee, sending the tool man down.

 **Michael Cole:** Whoa! Larry out of nowhere!

 **JBL:** It looks like Larry saved Balki for the moment.

Just like what a friend would do, Larry helped Balki up to his feet.

 **Balki Bartokomous:** *to Larry* You saved me, Larry! I am so grateful for you! We are so happy, we do the dance of joy!

 **JBL:** Oh no, please tell me they're not really gonna do this!

Suddenly, the two men broke out in dance. It started out with a snap of the fingers, then they tied up while they were both shuffling their feet.

While still tied up, the two men started bouncing all around one a time while then looking to each other's shoulders. And then, they closed out the dance as Balki leaped Larry up off his feet, bridal style. Their dance suddenly got infectious with the crowd as they sung along with them the whole entire time. Their Dance of Joy suddenly gave the crowd a gigantic pop.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, the dance of joy! One of Balki's signatures!

 **Michael Cole:** And this crowd is loving it!

 **JBL:** Oh please, I rather stuff my face in acid than to watch Balki and Larry dance!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* I could arrange that for you!

Both Balki and Larry decided to eat up the crowd's ovation for their dance.

But as they soon turned around, they saw Alex P. Keaton fly through the air, hitting the twosome with a front dropkick.

 **JBL:** Ha-ha, welcome to Air Keaton, Balki and Larry!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Well, that definitely won't sit well with the hometown!

After hitting the front dropkick perfectly, Alex kipped up to his feet, which brought in a mixed reaction from the fans (only because they didn't like the way that Alex took out both Larry and Balki).

However, as he was hulking up, Red Forman snuck from behind and swung his foot straight to Alex P. Keaton's ass! The pain was excruciating for Alex, as he started running, hissing and holding his rear end in total pain. That impact nearly came close to hitting APK right in the rectum!

 **Michael Cole:** Oh, a foot right in the ass!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *chuckling* Look at Alex's face! Looks like he took a dump the size of Minnesota!

 **JBL:** *chuckling* Alex P. Keaton may not ever poop again!

While Alex rubbed his butt on the mat (only to ease the pain), the Rumble clock lit up again. Apparently, another entrant was about to make his way immediately.

 **Michael Cole:** We got sweet number 16 coming!

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*****

 **Entrant #16:** **Cory Matthews (Boy Meets World/Girl Meets World)**

After the buzzer sounded, a man 30 years his age and dressed up in his usual teacher's outfit came out to a lukewarm applause.

Longtime _Boy_ _Meets World_ fans inside the United Center could recognize his face, the frizzy hair, and his goofy exterior. He actually started out as a kid from Philly but then grew up to be a teacher from New York.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, here's something you don't see every day!

 **Michael Cole:** Originally from ABC's _Boy Meets World_ , and now on Disney Channel's _Girl Meets World_ , it's Cory Matthews!

 **JBL:** I'll tell ya, puberty hit him hard like a brick.

As Cory got inside the ring, he started throwing dropkick over dropkick over everyone he saw.

First, it was Larry Appleton, then Balki Bartokomous, and then Red Forman. He was injected with a case of dropkick fever all of a sudden!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Wow, Cory Matthews is on fire!

 **JBL:** Sooner or later, it's all gonna burn out.

Still on fire, Cory Matthews tried to find the next person to attack next.

But he was caught by surprise by Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, who blindsided him with a Backstabber!

 **JBL:** See, told ya!

 **Michael Cole:** That celebration definitely didn't last long.

 **Jerry Lawler:** That Backstabber oughta make you stiff!

While Cory was wrenching his back in pain, Tim picked him up and attempted to throw him to the top rope for an elimination.

But suddenly, Cory decided to turn the tables by counter whipping the Tool Man over the ropes and down to the floor, getting The Tool Man eliminated!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, the tool man's gone!

 **JBL:** Back to the woodshed for Tim Taylor!

 **8th Elimination: Tim Taylor; Eliminated by: Cory Matthews; Duration:**

As Tim Taylor departed from ringside in defeat, Emma Ross had her hands full trying to fight off Norm Peterson.

However, it wasn't working wonders as Norm had Emma trapped with a full nelson. Emma was trying hard to escape as she could, but the weight and strength of one Mr. Norm Peterson was too much for her to handle. As seconds passed, her shoulders were starting to get sore and stiff, making her having a very less chance of escaping.

 **JBL:** Norm's locking in that full nelson very tight!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I don't like Emma's chances of winning this Rumble so far!

 **JBL:** Nope! Find your blanket and pillow! It's night-night for Emma Ross!

All chances of fighting back of her were growing dim.

That was until Emma swung her foot right between Norm's legs! Finally letting her go, the crowd all cringed at the impact, which forced Norm to hold onto his small beerstands in pain.

 **Michael Cole:** Well, that's one way to break out of the full nelson!

 **JBL:** Yeah, you can say it was a cheap, easy way!

With Norm holding onto his groin, Emma found the chance to fight back.

In response, Emma hit Norm with a reverse STO, which was followed by Emma wrapping her leg around Norm's neck, locking in the Koji Clutch! As she pressed on that leg, Norm was quickly beginning to lose breath from the hold. The longer Emma had on the old, the faster Norm would end up passing out, which would be deadly for him to get eliminated in that fashion!

 **Michael Cole:** Koji Clutch! Emma got Norm with the Koji Clutch!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Having to pass out from that hold is like having to pass out after too many beers! Norm might get used to that!

 **JBL:** Looks like Norm may be going to sleep instead!

But before Norm could pass out from the hold, Charlie Kelly (who was still reeling from the ladder shot) ran to the ropes and back again, hitting Emma in the face with a sliding dropkick!

 **Michael Cole:** Charlie Kelly with a huge dropkick to Emma's face!

 **JBL:** With a dropkick like that, Emma's face is getting this close to being a doormat!

As Emma started holding on to her face in pain, the Rumble clock came up again on the titantron.

Which meant that the people would soon be treated to the 17th entrant making his way right now.

 **Michael Cole:** We're about to see entrant 17 here!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*  
**

 **Entrant #17:** **Jefferson D'Arcy (Married... With Children)**

With the buzzer sounding, a man with wavy medium brown hair, permanent white smile and decked in a "NO MA'AM" shirt made his way from the curtain. Like Carl, Victoria, Larry and Balki, he too also got a hometown pop from this Chicago crowd, knowing he resided in the Windy City in the first place.

He wasn't alone though as he brought a mirror with him to look at.

 **Jefferson D'Arcy:** *looking at his mirror* Man, am I looking good under these city lights!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Ah, here's another one of Chicago's finest!

 **Michael Cole:** From _Married... With Children_ , here comes the pretty-boy narcissist, Jefferson D'Arcy!

 **JBL:** I'm thinking he's more concerned with how he looks other than getting in the ring!

While he was taking his time getting down to the ring, he got a good look at the mature, yet attractive women who were cheering for him at ringside. He actually liked the fan support he was getting prior to his entry.

But before he could make it to the ring, a buxom blonde shouted at him. Jefferson didn't know who her name was, but it didn't matter as he came up to her with a smile.

 **Jefferson D'Arcy:** So, we're you whistling at me?

 **Buxom blonde:** Yes, I was! Please sign my chest, Jefferson D'Arcy!

 **Jefferson D'Arcy:** *smirking* Well, I think that's in order...

Taking out a pen from his pants, Jefferson twisted the cap open and marked his signature on the buxom blonde's white t-shirt.

After putting away his pen, Jefferson decided to give thanks.

 **Jefferson D'Arcy:** *to the blonde* My advice to you: Never wash that shirt off.

 **Buxom blonde:** Eeeeeee! I am soooo never washing this shirt!

 **JBL:** What the hell is that egotistical goody-goody doing right now?

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'm guessing he's pleasing his own fanbase here in Chicago.

 **JBL:** He should just get in the ring and prove himself, not showoff! Who does this guy think he is, Dolph Ziggler?

Jefferson then managed to make it up the steps, but before he could actually get in the ring...

...

...

...he stopped to take a good look at himself to make sure his face stayed flawless. Who knows what kind of damage those competitors in the ring will do to his face?

 **Jefferson D'Arcy:** *talking to himself in mirror* Oh, I hope they won't hurt you too much. My skin is too smooth to get roughed up.

However, Jefferson was stupid to know that there was a table set up by ringside (thanks to Tim Taylor).

It proved fatal to him as Alex P. Keaton rushed right after him, and dropkicked him in the back...

...

...

...which sent Jefferson crashing to the table!

 **Michael Cole:** Jefferson went through the table! Jefferson went through the table!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh man, that was horrible!

 **JBL:** And that priss didn't even get in the ring! I think he might be eliminated already!

 **Michael Cole:** *to JBL* Even though he didn't enter, I'm afraid to think you may be right!

Suddenly, a mixed reaction from this Chicago crowd broke out in favor of Alex P. Keaton's little sneak attack on Jefferson D'Arcy. Some of the Chicago faithful were crying foul that Jefferson didn't even get a chance to enter the ring yet. But it was all Jefferson's fault in the first place that his looks got in the way in the first place.

However, the time that Jefferson took his slow walk to the ring and sign a hot blonde's chest took valuable time in the Rumble, as it was enough for the countdown clock to lit up. With anticipation, everyone inside the United Center all turned to the titantron, awaiting number 18's entrance.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Here comes Number 18 making his way! I can't wait for this!

 _ **To be continued next chapter...**_

* * *

 **Ooooh, I wonder who number 18 will be? Whoever it is, I can't wait! Anyway, stats time! Let's see what we got!  
**

 **Eliminated: Mike Seaver, Peter Brady, Robbie Shapiro, Shelby Marcus,** **Cliff Huxtable,** **Carl McMillan,** **Victoria Flynn and Tim Taylor  
**

 **Still in the ring: Alex P. Keaton, Balki Bartokomous, Charlie Kelly, Cory Matthews, Emma Ross, Jefferson D'Arcy, Larry Appleton, Norm Peterson and Red Forman.  
**

 **Entrants in the ring: 9**

 **Entrants still left to go: 33  
**

 **Will Jefferson manage to recover in time to enter the Rumble?  
**

 **Will we see another Dance of Joy from Balki and Larry?  
**

 **Will Norm clean house yet again, just like he cleans out rounds of beer at Cheers?  
**

 **Is there a huge chance of one of the contestants mooning in the Sitcom Royal Rumble?  
**

 **Either way, find out next chapter! Until then, be smart, be safe, and don't try any of this at home! Unless if it's your drunk uncle. _  
_**


	7. Ch 7: Crappy Days and Dog Days

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Crappy Days and Dog Days  
**

* * *

With the chaos getting underway, number 18 was closing in on his next entrant.

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #** **18:** **Nikki Ortiz (Dog With A Blog)**

As the buzzer sounded, an attractive latin chick wearing a black sunflower dress along with a sweater vest and cowboy boots made his way down the aisle to perhaps a lukewarm ovation.

The crowd was instantly flooded with signs that read 'Nikki + Tyler 4-LIFE' and 'Tylikki 3:16'.

 **JBL:** Okay, I'm not familiar who this is.

 **Michael Cole:** Well, if you've been watching Dog With A Blog on the Disney Channel, this would be Tyler James's girlfriend from Seasons 1-2, Nikki.

 **Jerry Lawler:** She's looking muy caliente here tonight!

 **JBL:** Oh, so that's who that is? I thought it was some kind of teenage hooker someone picked up.

Instead of entering the ring like always, Nikki decided to enter the ring via top rope, staring right at Alex P. Keaton.

As Alex turned around, Nikki leaped up the air and hit a picture-perfect hurricanrana on the eldest Keaton son!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Wow, what a hurricanrana!

 **JBL:** Wow, who knew that hooker can fly?

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* She's not a hooker, John!

Nikki's next target was Charlie Kelly. Gesturing at him to bring it on, Charlie tried to deck Nikki with a clothesline. Using her smarts, Nikki managed to duck in time and run straight to the ropes.

As she came back, she wrapped her legs around the bar-owner and started to spin around the air around 1440 degrees.

 **Michael Cole:** Check this out!

 **JBL:** Whoa, are you kidding me!?

Knowing that Charlie was getting dizzy, Nikki nicely obliged to get him off via headscissor takedown!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Headscissor takedown!

 **JBL:** I don't know why, but she's definitely reminding me of Lita!

After taking care of Charlie, Nikki tried to catch her breath...

...

...

...only for Cory Matthews to surprise her with a Zig Zag! But once again, she used her smarts and grabbed the ropes, making Cory fall instead.

 **Michael Cole:** Cory went for the Zig Zag, but still nothing.

As Cory got back up to his feet, Nikki rushed in with great speed and hit a Rough Ryder on the teacher.

Cory ended up selling the move very well, doing a tiny little barrel roll for good measure!

 **Michael Cole:** *surprised* My god!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Nikki just frickin' obliterated him with that Rough Ryder!

 **JBL:** For a hooker, she definitely knows how to show a lot of leg!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *angrily, at JBL* She's not a hooker, John. Why do you- oh, forget it!

While Nikki was busy cleaning house in the ring, Jefferson D'Arcy was still outside the ring, still starting to come back up to his feet after that unfortunate table bump caused by Alex P. Keaton.

For comedic effect, Jefferson managed to pull out his mirror and checked to see if any facial damage was made at all. Luckily for him, his face was still okay, but his hair got messed up a little.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Jefferson's getting back up there.

 **JBL:** If I was him, I would just leave the Rumble already and never come back.

 **Michael Cole:** Highly unlikely that he'll do that.

Unfortunately, bad luck struck again for Jefferson.

As he got off the apron, Emma Ross had whipped Norm Peterson onto him, which bumped Jefferson off the apron and down into the floor!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh! Poor Jefferson!

 **JBL:** Like I said, he can always walk out with his pretty face intact!

 **Michael Cole:** If more bumps happen like that to him, he just might.

While Jefferson was slumped outside the ring yet again, the countdown clock lit up once again.

That of course, obviously meant that the 19th entrant was set to appear.

 **JBL:** Here comes number 19, I can't wait!

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*  
**  
** **Entrant #19:** **Richie Cunningham (Happy Days)**

After the buzzer was heard, a teenager with red hair and a red sweater came down the ring to very good applause.

The fans (especially the ones that grew up in the 70's) all recognized that pale skin, tiny freckles and familiar smile. Mostly because he always hung out with the Fonz and Chachi.

 **JBL:** Hey, Opie's in the Rumble! And he grew up!

 **Michael Cole:** Um... that's actually Richie Cunningham from _Happy Days_.

 **JBL:** Huh, no wonder he looked like Opie at first.

On his way down the aisle, Richie all gave his fans high-fives as a way to give him the energy he needed to be in the ring.

But as he entered the ring, Charlie Kelly came in and hit Richie with a big boot, nearly sending him over the top rope! Luckily, Richie managed to keep his balance, and stumbled back to the ring.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Yeouch! That's gotta bite!

 **JBL:** Opie was this close to getting out faster than he got in.

 **Michael Cole:** *to JBL* John, it's Richie, not Opie.

 **JBL:** *to Michael* Sorry, a little confusion there...

While Richie tried to keep his jaw closed, Larry and Balki were busy taking care of Red Forman down at Ring #2.

As much as the middle-aged red-head could valiantly fight back, it wasn't enough as both Larry and Balki took Red down with a double suplex!

 **Michael Cole:** What a double suplex on Red Forman!

 **Jerry Lawler:** His back is definitely killing him for someone his age!

With Red down, Larry had an idea.

So as he began ascending to the top rope, Balki picked Red back up and lifted him up by his shoulders.

The crowd saw this and immediately rose up to their feet in a huge pop. They even brought out an 'LOD' chant in reminiscence of one of the greatest tag teams of all time, Hawk and Animal of the Legion of Doom. They were about to see Larry and Balki channel their inner Hawk and Animal.

 **JBL:** Wait a minute, are we gonna see what I think we're gonna see?

 **Jerry Lawler:** *chuckling* Ohhhhhh, what a rush!

 **Michael Cole:** This Chicago crowd has definitely gone nuts!

 **JBL:** Time for the Doomsday Device!

Both Balki and Larry had it in the bag.

But before Larry could launch himself in the sky, Red Forman started hitting down at Balki's forehead. After the foreigner was stunned enough, Red managed to hop back down and push Balki onto Larry, who painfully wrecked himself on the turnbuckle. The crowd didn't take very well to Red's quick counter, which responded in a little bit of boos.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh no!

 **Michael Cole:** That's gotta be painful to watch!

 **JBL:** I think Larry's 'perfect strangers' are starting to swell up now!

The impact Larry took was so hard, his eyes were beginning to pop out.

With Larry stranded on the ropes, Red Forman took in a forearm shot to Larry's face that sent over down to the floor. Surprising as this was, this actually became Red Forman's first elimination of the night.

 **Michael Cole:** Larry Appleton has been eliminated from the Rumble!

 **Jerry Lawler:** That probably isn't gonna sit well with Balki!

 **9th Eliminated: Larry Appleton; Eliminated by: Red Forman; Duration: 8:35  
**

After Larry's painful excruciating exit at ringside, Emma Ross tried to surprise Norm Peterson by hopping off the apron and landing onto him with a flying clothesline.

But as soon as Emma came down, Norm pushed Richie onto him, therefore getting in that arm from Emma instead!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Ouch! Poor Richie's definitely not cutting a break.

 **Michael Cole:** He's still disoriented from that big boot by Charlie Kelly.

 **JBL:** He should have never been in there. Only the Fonz is more capable with withstanding more damage than he does.

After Emma got up, Norm had decked the oldest Ross kid with a clothesline.

With Emma down, Norm barely had time to celebrate as he saw Nikki Ortiz fly right at him with a diving body press off the turnbuckle. His body mass came into play instantly as he caught her in mid-air.

 **JBL:** Uh-oh, bad place at the wrong time, Nikki!

 **Michael Cole:** This isn't gonna be good for her!

 **JBL:** We're about to see a Nikki-shaped burrito, guys!

With a smirk on Norm's face, he slammed Nikki down with the World's Strongest Slam!

The impact was nearly enough to break Nikki's ribs in two.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Ouch!

 **Michael Cole:** Okay, I think that was most horrible to watch than Larry split in half!

 **JBL:** Nikki ends up flat as a pancake!

As Norm flipped off the Chicago faithful to a bunch of boos, the crowd all rose again when they saw the Rumble clock light up.

That of course, indicated that number 20 was making his way soon enough.

 **Jerry Lawler:** While Nikki tries to recover, we've got number 20 making his way!

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*  
**  
Entrant #20: Newman (Seinfeld)**

With the buzzer sounding, a round chubby man with curly black hair and glasses scurried down the aisle to a bunch of boos.

The 20th entrant soon waved to the fans, which still gave him a lot of hate for his cunningness against Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer. Not even one local Chicago native gave him one cheer at all. But it didn't matter since he still wanted to win this Rumble first-hand!

 **JBL:** All right! I love this guy!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, please! Anything and anyone but his guy! I can't stand him.

 **Michael Cole:** For those who are unfamiliar with Seinfeld, this is one of the most hated characters in all of TV, Newman.

 **Jerry Lawler:** I can see why because of this response from this Chicago crowd!

 **JBL:** Maybe, but you can't please everyone! I'm definitely choosing him as my favorite to win!

Newman was psyched to be in this match, despite all the hate.

Looking at all the contestants in the ring, Newman tried to figure out who to go after. After such thinking, Newman decided to go after Nikki. But he didn't enter the ring, he decided to take a page from her playbook and enter from the top rope.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh no, someone's gotta stop him!

 **Michael Cole:** Nikki's already suffered two broken ribs from Norm. What does Newman have in mind?!

 **JBL:** Why are you concerned? Anything can happen in the Sitcom Royal Rumble!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Yeah, but not when someone's well-being is at stake!

Nikki tried to move, but the pain prevented her from trying to get out of the way.

Basically, it was all too late as Newman leaped from the top rope...

...

...

...and crushed Nikki with a Superfly Splash!

 **Michael Cole:** *shouting* OH MY LORD!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh no, someone get some help for her!

 **JBL:** Relax! She'll be fine! Every female who competes in the Rumble all get bruises more of the time!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* Will you stop, John?! She needs medical help!

 **JBL:** *to King* Don't yell at me! I'm just trying to be helpful here!

Newman had no remorse from that aerial attack on Nikki.

In fact, he felt more proud of himself as he showed off to the rest of the fans, who booed loudly at Newman. The crowd combined anger for Newman increased, even breaking out a 'Newman Sucks' chant over and over again.

 **Jerry Lawler:** It's been a second, and so far, he makes me sick!

 **JBL:** Come on, sing the praises of Newman! Let him feel the love!

 **Michael Cole:** I would, but apparently, he's got no love from this crowd to give him any.

Meanwhile, Alex P. Keaton snuck up on Cory Matthews and gave him an old school sleeper hold.

With his grip tightening all around Cory, the teacher's face turned midnight blue as he tried to reach for the ropes. This would be useful if it were an actual wrestling match, but unfortunately in the Sitcom Royal Rumble, rope breaks didn't count in the match. It was pretty much helpless for Cory to break out of the hold for sure.

 **Michael Cole:** Alex locks in the sleeper now!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Cory's about to pass out here! And he's very light for a skinny guy!

 **JBL:** Somebody get his blanky, cause Cory's going beddy-bye.

Unfortunately for Alex P. Keaton, he didn't realize Jefferson finally getting back in the ring after two unfortunate bumps.

Getting his vision back in order, Jefferson rushed in and kicked Alex and Cory, getting them right between the legs!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Owwww, double nut shot by Jefferson.

 **JBL:** It's about time that pretty-boy got in the ring!

 **Michael Cole:** We've been getting a lot of nut-shots for sure!

The nut shot that Alex received from Jefferson was way more worse than the nut-shot that Larry Appleton had got.

Alex couldn't manage to recover in time as he was picked up by Jefferson and thrown over the top rope and onto the floor to a standing ovation.

 **Michael Cole:** Alex is gone! I repeat, Alex P. Keaton is gone!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I think another ice pack is in order!

 **JBL:** Heck, make that two!

 **Michael Cole:** Revenge was definitely sweet for Jefferson this time!

 **10th Eliminated: Alex P. Keaton; Eliminated by: Jefferson D'Arcy; Duration: 7:40  
**

Meanwhile, Newman still wasn't satisfied with the damage he gave out to Nikki earlier.

So he decided to inflict more damage on her by picking her up on her knees, and lifting her up with a giant Gorilla Press.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh come on, enough's already enough!

 **Michael Cole:** I can't watch this for sure.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Hopefully, someone might come in and save her! Here comes the clock!

At the same time Newman lifted Nikki up with a Gorilla Press, the Rumble clock lit up again.

In King's case, he hoped that the next entrant in the Rumble _would_ come to Nikki's aid!

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*  
**  
Entrant #21: ****Tyler James (Dog With A Blog)**

As the buzzer sounded, a teenager with a gorgeous man-mane of medium black hair and dressed up in all black came sprinting down the aisle, hoping to save Nikki in time before she was splattered like a watermelon.

But he wasn't alone. He also brought in a steel chair for good measure.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Hey, looks like I was right!

 **Michael Cole:** From Disney Channel's Dog With A Blog, it's the winner of the first ever Sitcom Royal Rumble, Tyler James!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Apparently, he's pissed of what Newman's doing to his girlfriend! And he's not liking it for sure!

Tyler got in the ring and saw Newman, just inches away from throwing Nikki over the ropes.

With the rage of a lion, Tyler swung that chair and struck Newman in the leg! To add insult to injury, Newman dropped Nikki onto himself with a splash on the way down.

 **Michael Cole:** What a shot!

 **JBL:** It's not fair! Newman came so close to throwing her out!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* If you're so worried about Newman so much, why don't you marry him?

 **JBL:** *to King* No thanks, King. I'm straight as a straw.

As Nikki rolled off of Newman in order to recover, Tyler decided to lay down some permanent damage on Newman.

Not letting him recover, Tyler slammed the chair on Newman's chest hard, which brought a twinging feeling. And then, Tyler started hitting him again, and again, and again. Strange enough, the fans all chanted 'yes' with each chair shot that Tyler gave him. Those chair shots were so brutal and nasty, that it was forming marks around Newman's chest. Luckily for him, he was covered by one of his checkered shirts.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Look at him, Tyler's gone nuts!

 **JBL:** Somebody get some help for Newman!

 **Michael Cole:** *smirking at JBL* Sorry, JBL. You know what you said, 'anything can happen in the Sitcom Royal Rumble'!

 **JBL:** Oh crap, I did say that, didn't I?

By the time it was over, Tyler had unleashed 30 chair shots around Newman's body. (Which was actually one chair shot per second)

The crowd all cheered for Tyler, just for the destruction he unleashed on the cunning manipulating Newman. Picking him up, Tyler gave him a few words of his own.

 **Tyler James:** *angrily to Newman* No one hurts my girlfriend, you son of a-!

With his anger successfully boiling over, Tyler managed to toss out Newman over the ropes and onto the floor successfully to a rip-roaring ovation!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Newman's out! Newman's gone!

 **JBL:** This is unbelievable! My favorite's out just like that, all because of a pretty-boy with a man-mane!

 **Michael Cole:** Like it or not, this crowd's into it!

 **11th Eliminated: Newman; Eliminated by: Tyler James; Duration: 1:40  
**

As the ring officials outside began checking on Newman (who was still convulsing from the chair shots), Tyler managed to check on his girlfriend, Nikki. He was concerned on the damage that both Norm and Newman had done to her.

Surprisingly, Nikki managed to get up scot-free. Even though she was a little bruised, she found some heart to get to his feet.

 **Tyler James:** *to Nikki* Nikki, are you alright? Are you hurt?

 **Nikki Ortiz:** *hugs Tyler* Gracias, Tyler! Mucho mas de eso y me he muerto! **[1]**

 **Tyler James:** *looking puzzled* I don't know what that means, but okay.

With a smile to both of their faces, both Tyler and Nikki engaged in a very passionate kiss, fit for a hero.

The Chicago crowd all went crazy from that kiss, responding with cat-calls, hollers and even a 'Wooooooo' chant fit for good measure.

 **Michael Cole:** Well, look at that!

 **JBL:** Okay, that's making me sick! I rather watch Newman than see these two suck face!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* Don't be a buzzkill! I think it's hot! I think Tyler's a better kisser than Dolph Ziggler!

 **JBL:** Oh come on, he's nowhere near a good kisser as Ziggler is.

However, somewhere around the kiss, Nikki tapped Tyler right in the arm, indicating that someone was coming their way.

That someone was Norm Peterson, who decided to surprise them with a double clothesline. Luckily, Tyler and Nikki ducked the attack, only to strike Norm with a thunderous double superkick!

 **Michael Cole:** *jumping out of his seat* WHOA!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I think the Sears Tower split apart just by hearing that!

 **JBL:** His jaw's gonna have to get superglued the first thing in the morning!

While Tyler and Nikki searched for other competition, Emma Ross was busy choking out Jefferson D'Arcy down by the ropes while Red Forman had Richie Cunningham trapped with a tree of woe. To make things worse, Red put his foot in the redhead's mouth, nearly shoving his feet around Richie's teeth! Meanwhile, Charlie Kelly was busy pounding the back of Balki's head into the mat.

The time was also right for the next competitor to enter the ring as the crowd stood up, looking next to the titantron.

 **Michael Cole:** We're about to see number 22! Who will it be?

 _ **To be continued next chapter...**_

* * *

 **[1] - "Much more of that and I would've been dead!"**

 **Wow, this Rumble is starting to get a whole lot of insane. Before we dive right in the 22nd spot, let's check out stats, shall we?  
**

 **Eliminated: Mike Seaver, Peter Brady, Robbie Shapiro, Shelby Marcus,** **Cliff Huxtable,** **Carl McMillan,** **Victoria Flynn, Tim Taylor,** **Larry Appleton,** **Alex P. Keaton and Newman  
**

 **Still in the ring: Balki Bartokomous, Charlie Kelly, Cory Matthews, Emma Ross, Jefferson D'Arcy, Nikki Ortiz, Norm Peterson, Red Forman, Richie Cunningham and Tyler James.  
**

 **Entrants in the ring: 10**

 **Entrants still left to go: 29  
**

 **Now that Jefferson is finally in the ring, will he manage to do some personal damage in the next chapter?  
**

 **Will Richie Cunningham ever fight back in this match?  
**

 **Will we see more makeout moments between Tyler and Nikki next chapter (I'm not gonna lie, I love _Dog With A Blog_ and I ship them like crazy. It sucks that the producers broke them up for no apparent reason, because I think they're so adorable together)?  
**

 **Am I really on dope? Maybe it's a trick question.  
**

 **Next chapter's gonna be intense, so feedbacks are welcome! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off for now! _  
_**


	8. Ch 8: Kickin' It In The Rumble

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 8: Kickin' It In The Rumble  
**

* * *

The carnage kept on continuing until the next entrant had appeared.

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!**

 **Entrant #22:** **Screech (Saved By The Bell)**

After the buzzer sounded, a skinny curly-haired teenager wearing a Bayside High wrestling uniform came out to a surprising bunch of boos directed at him.

The 22nd entrant didn't even know why people were booing him to be honest, but it didn't matter as long as he was heading down to the ring to fight.

 **JBL:** Oh, great. Of all the people who had to enter to the ring, it had to be this moron?

 **Michael Cole:** For those of you who grew up in the 90's, it's Samuel "Screech" Powers from NBC's _Saved By The Bell_!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Looks like Screech came prepared to fight!

After he got in the ring, Screech went to work right away by hammering both Charlie Kelly and Balki one at a time in the back.

With those double axe handle shots given to both Charlie and Balki one at a time, Screech was doing his awesome Demolition impression. **[1]**

 **Jerry Lawler:** Check that out! Does that remind you of somebody, JBL?

 **JBL:** Yeah, Ax and Smash from Demolition! I may not like Screech, but he's definitely making one hell of an impression!

After bringing both men down, Screech took the time to show off to the fans by flexing his muscles.

The response that Screech got wasn't pretty to be exact. Not one local from Chicago ever cheered him at all.

 **JBL:** Oh man, did we really need to see that?

 **Michael Cole:** Apparently, the fans aren't taking a huge liking to Screech to be exact!

Charlie and Balki didn't like the way they were sneak attacked by a skinny nerd.

In total response, both the bar owner and the foreigner tugged Screech's shorts tightly in a huge wedgie! All the crowd cheered of the fact that Screech got himself the humiliation of a life time!

 **JBL:** Yeah, that's right! Show that nerd he totally deserves it!

 **Jerry Lawler:** His show may be called _Saved By The Bell_ , but I'm pretty sure no one ain't gonna save him at the moment!

 **JBL:** *chuckling* Looks like someone's going beddy-bye!

Screech tried begging to the two of them to let him go, but it was no use.

With their combined strength, Charlie and Balki chucked Screech over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him to a bunch of cheers!

 **Michael Cole:** Screech is gone! Screech is eliminated!

 **Jerry Lawler:** It's detention time for him!

 **12th Eliminated: Screech; Eliminated by: Charlie Kelly and Balki Bartokomous; Duration: 0:22**

After a bummed Screech had left ringside in total grief, Chet from _Best Friends Whenever_ ran past him and came back in the ring, doing jumping jacks for apparently no reason.

 **JBL:** That fat kid's out there again?!

 **Jerry Lawler:** That Bret kid doesn't get it, does he?

 **Michael Cole:** Um, that's not Bret, King. That's Chet.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, crap! How do I even tell them apart again?

 **JBL:** That should be easy. One's fatter and one's fattest, I think.

Feeling a little pumped despite not being in the Royal Rumble, Chet tried to find the first person to beat on. To his luck, he found Red Forman trying his best to piledrive Norm Peterson.

With a smirk, Chet pounded away at Red Forman hard. But Red managed to absorb those blows, having no effect on him whatsoever. Chet's little sneak attack on him ended up pissing Red Forman off.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Uh-oh...

 **Michael Cole:** That may be a huge mistake!

 **JBL:** Somebody's about to get Red's foot in his ass!

Not pleased with Chet's sneak attack, Red managed to lay a hard right to his fat cheek.

While he was holding his cheek in pain, Red ended up swinging his foot into Chet's ass in retaliation! The crowd all managed to laugh at Chet's misfortune, especially Shelby's friends sitting at ringside.

 **JBL:** Oh, yeah! Ball game!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I think Chet's ass just sent him straight out of the park!

 **Michael Cole:** Hopefully, that'll get the message sent out to him!

For safety reasons, Chet ended up getting out of the ring and running back up the aisle, hoping to stay out of the match for good.

As Red Forman began looking back at the chubby ginger kid with a smirk, Cory Matthews surprised him by nailing a Zig Zag neckbreaker!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Uh-oh, that distraction cost him there!

 **JBL:** Yeah, and it wouldn't happened to him if Chet would have stayed the hell out!

While the nearly-bald hardass held onto his neck in total pain, the Rumble clock lit up on the titan-tron, bringing in the next entrant from the match.

 **Michael Cole:** Number 23's gonna come in momentarily!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!  
**  
 **Entrant #23:** **Oleg (2 Broke Girls)**

Suddenly, a huge foreign man with curly hair, full beard and dressed in a dirty white apron came through the curtain and was greeted by thousands of Chicago fans.

His smile was soon lit up when he saw that one of the fans held up a Ukraine flag in respect of his home country.

 **JBL:** Oh, crap! First, we have Screech and now we have this perv?

 **Michael Cole:** From CBS's _2 Broke Girls_ , it's dirty Ukrainian, Oleg!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Well, he's definitely considered a favorite for sure! Definitely a big guy if I ever seen one.

 **JBL:** And a big pervert as well.

After he got in the ring, he immediately went to work right away by hitting Jefferson D'Arcy with a big boot.

And then, it was followed by a body slam to Emma Ross, followed by a leg drop on the blonde herself!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Hey, look at Oleg go!

 **JBL:** Did he even wash himself before this event? I'm smelling a little bit of french fry grease on him?

 **Jerry Lawler:** I admit it's making me hungry a little...

As he got up from the leg drop, Oleg looked to his right shoulder and saw Nikki helping Tyler eliminate Richie Cunningham from the match.

Oleg was quite impressed of how beautiful Nikki looked from here. That supermodel-worthy body, that long dark brown hair that went down to her hips and that smoky Latin accent of hers that drove Oleg a little hot and horny from here. Even though Oleg was a married man, he didn't mind hitting on some hot foreign jailbait.

So he went over to Nikki and tapped her shoulder, therefore getting Oleg's attention.

 **Oleg:** *to Nikki* Hey, are you from El Salvador?

 **Nikki Ortiz:** *to Oleg* Yeah, what?

 **Oleg:** Have you ever been to Ukraine? You know what they say, "Once you go Ukraine, you will scream with sex-"

Unfortunately, Oleg was cut off by Tyler James, who superkicked the crap out of him with a huge pop!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *in surprise* Oh, geez-!

 **JBL:** Well, talk about shooting someone's mouth off!

 **Michael Cole:** Tyler nearly kicked Oleg's jaw off his hinges!

 **JBL:** Yeah, I'm pretty sure Tyler knew the whole joke.

Oleg was instantly knocked out from that impact.

Still being disgusted by that un-told pickup line of his, Nikki got help from Tyler as they took Oleg's knocked out body and tried to get him over the top rope. But before they could get him over the top rope, Richie Cunningham snuck from behind and gave Tyler James a full nelson!

 **JBL:** Uh-oh, I think Tyler forgot about Richie there!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Richie's got those fingers locked in tight!

 **Michael Cole:** Tyler trying hard to escape the hold!

 **JBL:** That red-head's on him like a damn spider monkey!

Luckily for Tyler, he managed to hang on the ropes and pushed Richie off of him.

While he rested for a little bit, he saw Richie rush right after him. Using his quick smarts, Tyler ducked and put the ropes down as Richie tumbled over the top rope and down to the floor easily!

 **Michael Cole:** Richie is gone! Richie is out of here!

 **JBL:** Yeah, just like his brother Chuck did on _Happy Days_!

 **Jerry Lawler:** He's definitely not gonna like that for sure!

 **13th Eliminated: Richie Cunningham; Eliminated by: Tyler James; Duration: 4:47**

After Richie departed from the match, Tyler went back on helping his girlfriend eliminate Oleg from the match.

At the same time, the clock lit up on the titantron again, bringing in another entrant.

 **JBL:** We got number 24 heading our way! I'm excited!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!**

 **Entrant #24:** **Jack Brewer (Kickin' It)**

After the buzzer, a teenager with medium-long brown hair and dressed in impressive karate gi came running down the aisle to a lukewarm ovation.

This contestant was a proud member of the Bobby Wasabi Academy and a first-class sensei to boot.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Well, this Rumble's about to _kick it_ to high gear!

 **Michael Cole:** Another one of the Rumble's favorites, it's Jack Brewer from _Disney XD_ 's hit show, _Kickin' It_!

 **JBL:** I swear this Rumble's being filled up with pretty boys...

As he entered the ring, Jack started cleaning house with fast kicks to Cory Matthews, Norm Peterson, Red Forman and Jefferson D'Arcy.

Jefferson got the worst of it as Jack Brewer nailed him hard on his sculpted chest!

 **JBL:** Yeouch! That's gotta sting!

 **Jerry Lawler:** That's gonna leave one total mark on his chest for sure.

The always-smiling pretty boy ended up getting down on his knees, as Jack began to do more work.

Jack kept on kicking Jefferson in the chest repeatedly. With each kick, Jefferson's heart was getting heartburn by the minute.

 **Michael Cole:** Jack Brewer on fire here!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Those kicks are making my ears bleed for sure!

As the crowd kept on chanting 'Yes' with each kick given, Jack decided to pull off the Coup De Grace by roundhouse kicking Jefferson right on the side of this head, knocking him out for the time being! The sound even brought out some 'Ooh's from the crowd as well.

 **JBL:** YOUCH! That was hard!

 **Jerry Lawler:** That's enough to cause Jefferson migraines for sure!

After taking care of Jefferson, Jack saw that both Nikki and Tyler were struggling to get Oleg out.

Deciding to be the good competitor that he was, Jack decided to help the couple out, now making this a 3-on-1 elimination process. Oleg was now starting to wake up, finding out that he was in risk of being eliminated! Quickly, he managed to hang on the ropes extra tight, preventing elimination!

 **Michael Cole:** Oleg's being close to out of here in the match!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Things aren't looking good for him!

 **JBL:** I hope they eliminate him! He's a pervert, I tell you!

Unfortunately for Oleg, his near-elimination wasn't for long as Red Forman also decided to help Jack, Tyler and Nikki as well.

Finally, after 30 seconds of hanging on, Oleg finally went over the top rope and onto the floor, signaling his early elimination in the match to a mixed reaction.

 **JBL:** Finally, it's about time Oleg got out of there!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Apparently, half of the crowd doesn't like that one bit.

 **JBL:** Oh please, like I care about what they think.

 **14th Eliminated: Oleg; Eliminated by: Jack Brewer, Red Forman, Nikki Ortiz and Tyler James; Duration: 1:35**

As Oleg left ringside sadly, Emma Ross got her hands full with Balki Bartokomous.

After Balki hit Emma with a body slam, the foreigner from Chicago decided to go up on top and surprise the teenaged blonde with a full body press!

 **Michael Cole:** What a move by Balki-wait a minute!

Suddenly, the momentum turned them over as Emma Ross grabbed Balki by her shoulders. With shocking strength, Emma got up to her knees and held Balki in a backbreaker position. The crowd suddenly reacted in shock and surprise when Emma got to her feet while still holding Balki!

 **Jerry Lawler:** How is she doing this?!

 **JBL:** That's frickin' insane! Emma's like the size of a toothpick and somehow, he's carrying Balki!

 **Michael Cole:** She is definitely not normal, I can tell!

As she approached the ropes, Emma had an idea up in mind.

So she transitioned to a fireman's carry position. With Balki being carried on her shoulders, Emma put the foreigner down with the Go To Sleep! The impact forced Balki to flip back over the ropes and onto the floor, nailing her first elimination of the match!

 **JBL:** Whoa, what a hit!

 **Jerry Lawler:** The world's not looking perfect for Balki now! He's gone!

 **Michael Cole:** Balki's been eliminated!

 **15th Eliminated: Balki Bartokomous; Eliminated by: Emma Ross; Duration: 9:50**

While Balki remained knocked out on the outside floor, the countdown clock lit up once again.

With anticipation, the rest of the crowd all turned to the curtain to see who would come out the 25th spot.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Number 25 is on his way immediately!

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!  
**  
** **Entrant #25:** **Frasier Crane (Cheers/Frasier)**

As the buzzer sounded off, a middle aged man with nearly-balding hair and decked out in a brown business suit came out to loud, yet decent cheers from the fans.

Apparently, anyone who watched Cheers or its spinoff show definitely knew who this was!

 **JBL:** Oh, get your tossed salad and scrambled eggs ready! Here he comes!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'm a huge fan of this guy! Frasier is in the Rumble!

 **Michael Cole:** With him in the Rumble, this is sure to be interesting!

The psychiatrist-turned-radio host soon got into the ring only to see Charlie Kelly stomp on Norm Peterson to death.

Frasier wasn't having it to be honest. Seeing his drunken friend getting manhandled by a bar owner that wasn't Sam Malone, Frasier surprised Charlie by lifting him off his feet with an electric chair and fall back into the turnbuckle, sending the back of Charlie's head to the lower right turnbuckle!

 **Michael Cole:** *shocked* Dear god!

 **Jerry Lawler:** That didn't feel pretty for Charlie!

 **JBL:** Somebody's getting whiplash for sure...

As Charlie held onto his neck painfully, Frasier helped his friend out by dusting himself off.

 **Frasier Crane:** *to Norm* You definitely took a beating here for sure.

 **Norm Peterson:** *to Frasier* No kidding! I think the rest of the competitors are much more drunk than the people here in Chicago!

While Frasier and Norm were busy talking to one another, Jefferson D'Arcy woke up and saw the two conversate. With a smirk, Jefferson thought of sneak attacking them while they weren't looking.

So as Jefferson rushed right after them, Frasier and Norm gave him a double gut shot to the ribs!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Well, that didn't help much!

Seeing Jefferson standing in the middle in the ring in pain, Frasier and Norm decided to take in some double team offense.

With the two in separate corners, both Frasier and Norm rushed onto Jefferson and laid him out with the Fall of Man (which is a leg sweep/running european uppercut combo)!

 **JBL:** Fall of Man! Right out of the Ascension's playbook!

 **Michael Cole:** Jefferson's having a tough time building some momentum here!

 **JBL:** Like I said, he should've never gotten in the ring after that table bump earlier!

As Jefferson got completely knocked out, Jack Brewer caught Red Forman by the arm after the middle-aged man tried to hand the sensei a punch.

Jack then flipped his body over, sending Red to the mat with a Cross Armbreaker. However, he didn't lock it all the way in as Red held onto his already locked left arm just to ease the pain.

 **Michael Cole:** Cross Armbreaker! Jack with a surprising Cross Armbreaker!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Yeah, but he doesn't have it locked though!

 **JBL:** Red is in major trouble here!

While being locked into the hold, Red Forman started standing on his left two feet and stared down at Jack.

Forming his right hand into a fist, Red started beating Jack's face down in hopes of being let go by the hold. It still wasn't helping him though as Jack became attached to him like a spider. The kind of struggle that both Red and Jack were in were as similar to an MMA fight.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Red fighting hard as he can.

 **Michael Cole:** No matter how hard he tries, Jack definitely isn't let go.

After 20 seconds of fighting out of that hold, Charlie Kelly came out of nowhere and hit a top rope leg drop right on Jack, finally breaking the hold.

 **JBL:** There we go!

 **Michael Cole:** Charlie dropping the leg on Jack.

Jack wobbled a little from the impact itself. But Charlie wasn't half done with the sensei just yet.

As the sensei sat up, Charlie rushed in and pulled off a nice rolling neck snap for good measure!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Well, that oughta _whip_ Jack back up in shape!

 **Michael Cole:** Impressive neck snap by Charlie!

 **JBL:** This is turning very intense for the competitors! They're really dying to get a hold of those million dollars for sure!

Meanwhile, both Tyler and Nikki were trying to get Cory Matthews over the top rope while Jefferson still became the pain magnet that he was from the start, being locked in the full nelson by Norm and getting hit on the chest by Frasier.

While so, the Rumble clock lit right back up, therefore bringing in yet another entrant into the match!

 **Michael Cole:** We're up at number 26! Who will join in the Royal Rumble Match?

 _ **To be continued next chapter...**_

* * *

 **[1] - For those who don't know, Demolition was a tag team in the WWE around the late 80's-early 90's which consisted of both Ax, Smash and later in the career, Crush. And for once, they held the WWE Tag Team Championship for nearly 16 months! Pretty tight, huh?  
**

 **Yeah, thanks for the info, inner me. But before we can dive into number 26 next chapter, let's check out the stats, shall we?  
**

 **Eliminated: Mike Seaver, Peter Brady, Robbie Shapiro, Shelby Marcus,** **Cliff Huxtable,** **Carl McMillan,** **Victoria Flynn, Tim Taylor,** **Larry Appleton,** **Alex P. Keaton, Newman, Screech, Richie Cunningham, Oleg and Balki Bartokomous  
**

 **Still in the ring: Charlie Kelly, Cory Matthews, Emma Ross, Frasier Crane, Jack Brewer, Jefferson D'Arcy, Nikki Ortiz, Norm Peterson, Red Forman, and Tyler James.  
**

 **Entrants in the ring: 10**

 **Entrants still left to go: 25  
**

 **Will Jefferson ever get a chance to quit being a pain magnet?  
**

 **Will the alliance of Frasier and Norm be a benefactor in this match?  
**

 **Will see more horrible pickup lines from contestants?**

 **Is my dog ever gonna bathe?  
**

 **Stay tuned for next chapter, my homies, so don't forget to leave a little feedy on the way out! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off for now! PEACE! _  
_**


	9. Ch 9: Butlers, Shoe Salesmen and Writers

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 9: Butlers, Shoe Salesmen and Writers  
**

* * *

The chaos and madness kept on continuing as number #26 made his down the aisle.

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!**

 **Entrant #26:** **Mr. Belvedere**

As the buzzer sounded, an overweight British butler dressed in a brown sweatercoat ran through the curtain in a lukewarm ovation. Everyone who grew up in the 1980's knew who this guy was. The kids today however, couldn't have a clue who this guy was at all that entered.

 **JBL:** Hey, look who's here!

 **Michael Cole:** A cult legend in the history of sitcoms, here comes Mr. Belvedere!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'm glad I still remember him!

As Mr. Belvedere got inside the ring, he saw Jefferson D'Arcy being outnumbered by Frasier and Norm. But he wasn't looking to help out Jefferson.

Knowing this was every man for themselves, Belvedere ran up to Norm and put him down in a german suplex, while at the same time that Norm hit Jefferson with a Dragon Suplex. The crowd popped huge for that move!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Whoa! What a move!

 **JBL:** I have never seen someone do a german suplex on somebody who's pulling off a full nelson! That's insane!

Seeing his friend go down by a big butler, Frasier tried to take a shot at Belvedere.

But the butler used his smarts and catched his punch, countering with a huge Samoan Drop for good measure!

 **Michael Cole:** Impressive Samoan Drop by Mr. Belvedere!

 **JBL:** We're like 15 seconds ahead of the match and so far, Mr. Belvedere cleaning house!

 **Jerry Lawler:** With the momentum he's getting, I think we all know who the new Rumble favorite is!

While Frasier was wrenching his back in pain, Charlie Kelly had his hands full with Emma Ross down at Ring #2.

Charlie wanted to nail a piledriver on Emma, but the blonde managed to stick her knees close to the mat, which made it hard for the bar owner to pick her up!

 **JBL:** Uh-oh, I don't like the looks of this!

 **Michael Cole:** Emma Ross in major trouble here!

Just to get her off her feet, Charlie pounded her in the back hard.

As she was stunned, the bar owner finally managed to pick her up and drove her head right in the mat a la Spike Piledriver!

 **Michael Cole:** OH, man!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Yeah, I gotta admit, it was better than my version of the move!

 **JBL:** Emma Ross is now this close from having her neck broken.

With Emma down on the mat unconscious, Charlie was somehow less satisfied with the result.

So he needed to go to the extreme. With an evil smirk on his face, Charlie rolled himself under the ropes and searched for something under the apron.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Uh-oh, what's he doing?

 **JBL:** I have no idea, and basically, I don't want to know...

After seconds of searching, Charlie ended up pulling out a little grey bag with a string tied to it.

As he got back in the ring, Charlie undid the tie. And when he did, he poured down what seemed to be thousands of thumbtacks. The crowd all gasped in surprise, horror and anticipation, knowing that this Rumble was now gonna be sadistic.

 **Michael Cole:** *gulping* Oh no...

 **Jerry Lawler:** I can't even watch this!

 **JBL:** It's frickin' thumbtacks! Thumbtacks, I tell ya!

 **Jerry Lawler:** If I was Emma, I'd run out of the ring and never come back!

But before Charlie could get to Emma, he saw Cory Matthews run right by him.

Using quick thinking, Charlie Kelly ducked down and launched Cory Matthews over the top rope and down to the floor, eliminating him.

 **JBL:** Cory's gone! The teacher is out!

 **Jerry Lawler:** The world is no longer his, that's for sure!

 **16th Eliminated: Cory Matthews; Eliminated by: Charlie Kelly; Duration: 10:42  
**

After Cory's departure, Charlie started right where he left off and picked up Emma once again.

Only this time, he was thinking of powerbombing her through the thumbtacks!

 **Michael Cole:** *to Charlie* Oh no, please don't do this!

 **JBL:** He's gonna turn Emma Ross into a human pincushion!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Hopefully, the next entrant might come to her help!

Luckily for her, Charlie put her down to see the countdown clock light up on the titantron, therefore awaiting number 27's entry into the Rumble.

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!  
****

As the buzzer sounded, the crowd somehow became confused when no one had come out the 27th spot.

The crowd didn't understand. Did someone in the back see what was going on and decided to quit at the last second? Or perhaps someone got ill and decided to skip the Rumble altogether.

 ** **JBL:**** Huh, no one's coming out.

 ** **Michael Cole:**** I wonder what happened?

 ** **Jerry Lawler:**** Maybe someone decided to- wait a minute, someone's coming from the crowd.

Suddenly, the 27th entrant came through the crowd, who took in a surprising pop.

The camera got a good shot of him and his description. Wavy dark brown hair and dressed in brown shorts alongside a red-collared shirt with the Camp Kikiwaka logo on him. To the fans surprise, this teenager went by the name of...

 **Entrant #27:** **Xander (BUNK'D)**

 **JBL:** Wait a minute, what's that punk doing in the Rumble? Is he even a contestant?!

 **Michael Cole:** It's Xander from the "Jessie" spinoff, "BUNK'D"!

 **Jerry Lawler:** And he made his entrance through the crowd nonetheless!

Xander wasn't alone by the way. He also had a trusty Singapore cane with him.

So as he entered the ring, he stood behind Charlie Kelly, who was foolishly waiting for the 27th entrant to come out. Foolishly enough, he didn't even know the 27th entrant was already in the ring.

 **Charlie Kelly:** *to the curtain* C'mon, ya little p***k! I ain't waitin'.

With a smirk, Xander decided to give him a wakeup call when she whacked Charlie in the back of the head with a Cane!

And then, it was followed by more cane shots. This time, to the entire body.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Wow, did you hear that?

 **JBL:** My ears already bled hearing that! Look at him, that kid's nuts!

 **Michael Cole:** There was absolutely no way he wanted to see Emma getting piledrived on tacks.

Being already stunned by the cane shots, Charlie rolled himself under the ring, just to take a little breather.

Even though he was in the floor, Charlie did not go over the top rope and onto the floor as planned. Which obviously meant he was still in the match.

 **JBL:** I don't know who's more crazy, Charlie or that frickin' kid.

 **Michael Cole:** *to JBL* That kid's name is Xander, John.

 **JBL:** Like I hardly care what his name is! That guy's not normal!

While Xander was already checking on Emma, Mr. Belvedere kept building up his momentum by taking care of both Tyler and Nikki.

The ladykiller and latina were busy trying to lift the butler over with a double suplex, but size proved to be a factor for Mr. Belvedere, who managed to hook his leg right around Tyler's.

 **Jerry Lawler:** I think they're gonna try to lift him!

 **JBL:** That's ridiculous. Belvedere's like the size of four beer kegs. I'm thinking he ate all of them prior to this match!

In response to his nearly-attempted double suplex, Mr. Belvedere managed to do the impossible.

With added strength, he managed to single-handedly lift both Tyler and Nikki up through his shoulders and hit them with a double suplex of his own!

 **Michael Cole:** Whoa! That's amazing!

 **JBL:** Mr. Belvedere is looking pretty much unstoppable at this point!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Forget Niles from "The Nanny" and Geoffrey from "Fresh Prince", this guy is the real deal!

As Mr. Belvedere showed off to a good pop from the Chicago crowd, the Rumble clock had lit up once again.

The people inside the United Center all looked to the titantron to see number 28 make his way!

 **JBL:** Ah, here comes number 28! I can't wait for this!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!  
**  
 **Entrant #28:** **Ally Dawson (Austin & Ally)**

As the buzzer sounded, an 18-year old brunette dressed in a red tanktop, short white overalls and cowboy boots made her way down.

Not surprisingly, she was met with a good ovation from the crowd.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, as if things didn't get too exciting! Look who it is!

 **Michael Cole:** It's famous songwriter and recording artist, Ally Dawson from Disney's "Austin  & Ally"!

 **JBL:** Last time we saw her, she got rough with Liv Rooney at the last Sitcom Royal Rumble! And she wasn't even a contestant!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Now that she's a contestant, it's nice to see what she's gonna do!

Instead of entering the ring like most contestants, Ally Dawson decided to enter the ring via top rope. However, she was holding onto Red Forman's shoulders for balance, which was good considering that Red was being cornered by Norm and Frasier.

Seeing the two, Ally leaped off from the top rope and hit the duo with a double front dropkick, followed by a kip-up!

 **JBL:** WOW!

 **Jerry Lawler:** She just took down two birds with one stone!

 **Michael Cole:** Especially in the form of a front dropkick.

The impact forced Norm Peterson to retreat from the lower right turnbuckle. But he didn't get time to rest, by the way.

It was all because Ally Dawson came rushing in, hitting Norm with a running dropkick from the turnbuckle. With the way she's been fighting, no wonder her fighting style reminded everyone of Daniel Bryan!

 **Michael Cole:** Running dropkick out of beauty!

Ally Dawson was still pumped up to the bone.

So she decided to run back to the turnbuckle and ran back again, hitting Norm Peterson again with a running dropkick.

 **Michael Cole:** Running dropkick again!

 **JBL:** Forget Charlie or Xander, this girl out-nuts them both!

Ally was enjoying the support from this Chicago crowd.

So she kept them pumping up as she ran back the turnbuckle and ran back again...

...

...

...only to run into Mr. Belvedere, who back body dropped her into the mat.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh, there goes Belvedere!

 **JBL:** Tough luck, Ally!

As Ally wrenched his back in pain, Mr. Belvedere decided to catch his breath.

But out of nowhere, Jack Brewer came absolutely out of nowhere and dropkicked Belvedere on the side of the head, which forced Belvedere's momentum to carry him over the top rope and onto the floor in a very surprising elimination!

 **Michael Cole:** Mr. Belvedere's services in this Rumble are over!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Whoa, I never expected that!

 **JBL:** He definitely won't be living the good life, that's for sure!

 **17th Eliminated: Mr. Belvedere; Eliminated by: Jack Brewer; Duration: 2:35  
**

While some of the fans were disappointed from Mr. Belvedere's early departure, Xander and Emma decided to team up against Jefferson D'Arcy by using separate singapore canes.

Emma managed to whack Jefferson straight in the head, which forced him to turn around and get hit by Xander as well.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Ouch! Jefferson hasn't been getting a major break ever since he entered.

 **JBL:** He's so deformed, he makes the Elephant Man look more handsome.

While Jefferson was down, Xander managed to spread his legs...

...

...

...only for Emma to strike him right on the crotch with the cane itself! That forced every Chicagoan to cringe in horror seeing this!

 **Michael Cole:** *shouting* DEAR LORD!

 **JBL:** Jefferson's gonna want to need another ice pack for sure.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Heck, maybe 20 if he's interested!

As Jefferson started crying for his mommy, the Rumble clock lit up once again.

The crowd all gathered at the titantron, awaiting what was the 29th entrant of the match. Hopefully, it would be somebody who could save Jefferson from this unlucky beatdown.

 **JBL:** Next entrant coming up at around 10...

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!  
**

 **Entrant #29:** **Al Bundy (Married... With Children)**

With the buzzer sounding for the 29th time, the crowd all roared to their feet in one gigantic pop.

It was all because a middle-aged man in balding hair, long-sleeved blue shirt, usual brown pants, and brown business shoes came through the curtain. Instant electricity flowed through him, needing the energy that he needed to get him through this match.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh man, this is insane!

 **Michael Cole:** Another returning favorite from the last year's Sitcom Royal Rumble, it's the shoe salesman from "Married... With Children", Al Bundy!

 **JBL:** He definitely isn't gonna like his friend getting beat up like this!

 **Michael Cole:** This crowd is lighting up here in Chicago!

Not having to see Jefferson suffer anymore, Al rushed right in the ring.

Xander and Emma tried striking their canes at the shoe salesman, but Al managed to duck down and run towards the ropes. When Al ran back, he leveled both the duo with a flying double clothesline!

 **JBL:** Check that out! A Flying Bundy!

 **Jerry Lawler:** That oughtta put them to sleep!

With Xander and Emma down, Al approached Jefferson, who was busy holding his little man in total pain.

Jefferson was off breathing in and out, as if he had gotten pregnant (of course, he wasn't). Al looked a bit concerned for his little buddy.

 **Al Bundy:** Jefferson, you okay, buddy?

 **Jefferson D'Arcy:** *cringing* I think I miscarried a little...

Meanwhile, Red Forman was at ring #2 doing his best to get Nikki over the top rope.

Red Forman was pushing up as hard as he could, but Nikki successfully managed to hang on to the ropes. Yet, that still didn't stop him from pushing her up over his head.

 **Red Forman:** Damn it, what the hell did this girl eat for lunch? Bob?!

 **Michael Cole:** Red Forman trying to get Nikki over the rope!

 **JBL:** Hard to believe he's lasting a very long time after having entered number 2!

 **Jerry Lawler:** That proves how tough of a fighter he is!

After seconds of trying, Red finally managed to get Nikki over, but she remained on top of the apron. Seeing her, Red tried to knock her off the apron, but Nikki managed to punch Red right in the face.

But before she could get back in the ring, her boyfriend Tyler ended up catapulting towards her thanks to Charlie Kelly. That collision caused Nikki to be knocked off the apron, eliminating her by accident.

 **JBL:** Uh-oh!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Well, that was unfortunate!

 **JBL:** Nikki isn't gonna like that for sure, getting eliminated by her boyfriend that way!

 **Michael Cole:** Well, it was by accident!

 **18th Eliminated: Nikki Ortiz; Eliminated by: Tyler James (by accident); Duration: 11:33  
**

Nikki was shocked that her boyfriend eliminate her like that, even though it was by accident.

So in response, Nikki ended up responding to him from outside the ring!

 **Nikki Ortiz:** *to Tyler* ¿Qué diablos, Tyler? ¿Estúpido o algo? **[1]**

 **Tyler James:** *to Nikki* It was a mistake, Nikki! Honestly! Charlie catapulted me onto you!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Looks like there's a whole lot of trouble going on there!

 **JBL:** I don't blame Nikki, it was Tyler's fault that he eliminated her!

 **Michael Cole:** It wasn't his fault that he eliminated her! It was an accident!

 **JBL:** Accidents don't matter! An elimination is an elimination!

Feeling angry, Nikki left Tyler high and dry, leaving Tyler speechless.

Unfortunately, the distraction proved costly for Tyler, as he was hit by a backstabber by Ally Dawson!

 **Michael Cole:** Ouch! The backstabber!

 **JBL:** Just what Tyler deserves for eliminating his own girlfriend.

As Tyler began wrenching his back in pain, Frasier Crane tried to put away Al Bundy and his momentum early in the match with a running powerslam.

Luckily, Al Bundy began to wriggle free out of the move and counter it with a huge Rock Bottom!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom!

 **Michael Cole:** Al Bundy's laying the SmackDown.

 **JBL:** Laying down flat like seeing his wife's mother naked in the bathtub!

With Frasier laid flat on the mat, the people all turned to the titantron to see who number 30 would be in this Rumble.

Whoever the next entrant would be inside the curtain, was gonna be in quite a violent battle.

 _ **To be continued next chapter...**_

* * *

 **[1] - "What the hell, Tyler? Are you that stupid or something?"  
**

 **Wow, I knew this was bound to be crazy. I wonder what'll be number 30, by the way. I'd tell ya, but I'm gonna get to the stats first. Here we go:  
**

 **Eliminated: Mike Seaver, Peter Brady, Robbie Shapiro, Shelby Marcus,** **Cliff Huxtable,** **Carl McMillan,** **Victoria Flynn, Tim Taylor,** **Larry Appleton,** **Alex P. Keaton, Newman, Screech, Richie Cunningham, Oleg, Balki Bartokomous, Cory Matthews, Mr. Belvedere and Nikki Ortiz  
**

 **Still in the ring: Al Bundy, Ally Dawson, Charlie Kelly, Emma Ross, Frasier Crane, Jack Brewer, Jefferson D'Arcy, Norm Peterson, Red Forman, Tyler James and Xander.  
**

 **Entrants in the ring: 11**

 **Entrants still left to go: 29  
**

 **Who will be the first victim of those forbidden thumbtacks?  
**

 **Will the alliance of Frasier and Norm survive?  
**

 **Will Tyler survive without his girlfriend to help him?**

 **Will Xander cane another poor sucker just for them trying to hit on Emma?  
**

 **Is the left Twix better than the right Twix?**

 **Next chapter's gonna be awesome, so don't forget to leave some feedback for me, K? Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off for now!** **BOO-YAH!** _  
_


	10. Ch 10: Boom Goes The Dyn-o-mite!

**"Sitcom Royal Rumble II"**

 **Rated T for mild language and violence  
**

 **Summary: 50 superstars from sitcoms past and present battle for 1,000,000 on the line in an all-out battle royal! With old contestants returning alongside brand new faces ready to compete, and two rings to match the total carnage unleashed, who will fight to survive for total victory? A sequel to the first Sitcom Royal Rumble.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Boom Goes The Dyn-o-mite!  
**

* * *

The pain and carnage continued inside the ring as the clock ticked down to it's next entrant.

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!**

 **Entrant #30:** **Carlton Banks (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)**

As the buzzer sounded, a dark skinned preppy wearing multi-colored cardigan and green slacks made his way through the curtain dancing to the beat, Bruce Springsteen-style.

This guy had a tremendous ovation from the crowd, all because the crowd was singing along to Carlton Banks's theme song and Tom Jones classic, "It's Not Unusual".

 **JBL:** Oh no, not this goody two-shoes! Why did it have to be him?!

 **Michael Cole:** Straight out of NBC's hit show, "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", here comes Carlton Banks!

 **Jerry Lawler:** And he's doing the Carlton Dance! That's great!

 **JBL:** This is just plain retarded, now.

Taking his time walking down the stage, Carlton decided to entertain the crowd by lip-synching the song.

 **Carlton Banks:** _It's not unusual to be loved by anyone/It's not unusual to have fun with anyone/But when I see you hanging about with anyone/It's not unusual to see me cry, I wanna die..._

The crowd started to get into the song, especially since they started singing along with him! They loved how they were eating up the Carlton Dance from head to toe.

JBL on the other hand, was growing very impatient on him. It's like Carlton would rather dance instead of fight.

 **JBL:** Okay, is this kid trying to be serious?

 **Jerry Lawler:** I think he's having a wonderful time!

 **JBL:** If he was serious, he would quit goofing off and actually prove to himself in the ring!

Some of the contestants inside the ring all took their attention off each other and focused on Carlton himself.

And as Carlton got inside the ring, Al Bundy, Tyler James, Red Forman, Jack Brewer, and Ally Dawson all approached him, looking to beat the crap out of the black preppy. Carlton was immediately scared right away at the 5-on-1 advantage. There was absolutely no way Carlton was gonna out-fight all five people at one time.

 **JBL:** *chuckling* Look what Carlton just got himself into!

 **Jerry Lawler:** This isn't gonna look good for Uncle Phil's son!

 **Michael Cole:** I think it's about to get a lot worse!

Just to avoid a horrible beatdown, Carlton tried foolishly to dance his way in the rumble...

...

...

...only for Red Forman to give Carlton a huge wedgie! It went so far up Carlton's butt, it nearly started to bleed through his slacks!

 **JBL:** *chuckling* Ha! How does it feel now, Carlton?

 **Michael Cole:** He's gonna need some new underwear, that's for sure!

Red then gestured over to the guys and helped him get a tug on Carlton's cardigan.

With no place left to fight back, Carlton was immediately thrown over the top rope and onto the floor, being eliminated to a mixed reacton (most of were mainly laughs).

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh no! There goes Carlton!

 **JBL:** He definitely ain't gonna be dancing anymore!

 **19th Eliminated: Carlton Banks; Eliminated by: Al Bundy, Tyler James, Red Forman, Jack Brewer, and Ally Dawson; Duration: 0:23**

Carlton was nevertheless angry about his early elimination from the match, which was why he started throwing one huge mega-fit outside the ring.

Due to the time Carl wasted on his dancing, the crowd all turned to the entrance aisle, all awaiting the 31st entrant of the match.

 **JBL:** What a crybaby Carlton is. Anyway number 31's on his way!

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!***

 **Entrant #31:** **Coach Hayden Fox (Coach)**

While the buzzer sounded nicely, a tall middle-aged man with slicked balding hair came out to perhaps a somewhat standing ovation.

He was dressed in an all-Blue varsity jacket, black jeans and brown shoes. But the 31st entrant may very well be famous for that similar marching band intro used in his sitcom.

 **Jerry Lawler:** All right! Haven't seen this guy in ages!

 **Michael Cole:** Me too! Here comes Coach Hayden Fox from the ABC smash, "Coach"!

 **JBL:** With a guy like him, it definitely takes me back to my college football days down at Abilene Christian!

 **Michael Cole:** Can he add winner of the second annual Sitcom Royal Rumble to his trophy case?

Hayden immediately got inside the ring and cleaned house right away, decking out punches to both Frasier and Norm.

And then he approached Jack Brewer, which he whipped onto the ropes and back again, nailing the karate sensei with a Black Hole Slam!

 **Michael Cole:** Black Hole Slam! My lord, what intensity!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Hayden Fox just spun Jack Brewer like a frickin' washing machine!

Hayden wasn't done with Jack Brewer just yet.

The coach then ascended the middle rope, where he saw Jack lay unconscious on the mat. With his hand forming into a fist, Hayden leaped off the middle rope and nailed Jack with a fist drop.

 **Michael Cole:** Fist drop from the middle rope.

 **JBL:** Hayden's looking pretty unstoppable here!

While Hayden was busy building momentum down at ring #1, Jefferson D'Arcy was busy recovering from a slam pulled off by Xander moments ago.

He saw Emma Ross laying around ringside, along a bed of thumbtacks that was placed around the ring, awaiting a poor sucker's body to go though those tiny pointy nails. Suddenly, Jefferson planted a huge evil smirk across his face. He knew what he wanted to do.

 **Michael Cole:** Oh no, please tell me we're not gonna see this!

 **JBL:** Somebody's about to become a human pincushion!

 **Jerry Lawler:** I can't even watch! Somebody's gotta help her!

Noticing Xander still fighting out against Charlie, Jefferson grabbed Emma and put her into powerbomb position, looking to slam her on top of those thumbtacks.

With great strength, Jefferson tried to lift Emma up, but she managed to hook her knee down to the floor, making it hard for him to lift her up. He tried again, but still no use.

That's when Emma countered Jefferson move by lifting him up...

...

...

...and crashing into the thumbtacks! The pain was so insane and so wild that it threw the fans off their seats and onto their seats in response.

 **Michael Cole:** *shouted* MY LORD! Jefferson been broken in half!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Somebody's better call the EMT's down here quick!

 **JBL:** Jefferson's gonna need a lot of medication for his back, I'm sure!

Jefferson didn't have time to recover or recuperate. Instead he just screamed in agony like everyone, especially when someone would feel those sharp pointy, metal tack around their backs.

Suddenly, Xander managed to let go of Charlie and trying to help out Emma eliminate Jefferson.

With the two camp counselors strength, both Xander and Emma threw Jefferson over the tope onto the floor, eliminating him with a great applause from the hometown crowd in Chicago.

 **Michael Cole:** Jefferson is gone!

 **Jerry Lawler:** No kidding! Somebody get some intensive care for him!

 **20th Eliminated: Jefferson D'Arcy; Eliminated by: Xander and Emma Ross; Duration: 14:45**

While the rest of the medical team went to check on Jefferson D'Arcy from ringside, Red Forman went to work on Frasier Crane, performing chops over the chest. With each chop, people kept responding to 'Wooooo' chants, in honor of the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair.

As Frasier became roughed up enough, Red whipped him to the turnbuckle, only for Frasier to counter-whip him back. After Red hit chest first on the turnbuckle, he turned around, only for Frasier to lift him up and send him back down the same time Norm grabbed Red's neck on the impact!

 **JBL:** 3D! They hit the 3D!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Shades of those Damn Dudleys!

 **JBL:** Except the Dudleys did it way better!

With Red rolling around the ring in serious pain, the clock lit up on the titantron, bringing in the 32nd entrant of the match.

 **Michael Cole:** Who's gonna be the next superstar to enter the Sitcom Royal Rumble match?

 ** **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!****

 **Entrant #32:** **Jimmie "JJ" Walker (Good Times)**

Going through the curtain next was a tall, skinny black fellow dressed in a blue kangol hat, a red long sleeve sweater, blue pants and white shoes.

This icon of the 70's was given a huge Chicago welcome to this crowd.

 **JBL:** All right! We're heading into good times now!

 **Michael Cole:** Here comes Jimmie "JJ" Walker from ABC's _Good Times_!

 **Jerry Lawler:** He's about to light it up like it's Dyn-o-mite!

Upon entering the ring, Charlie Kelly stared down at him as he winded up his arm, hoping for an early elimination.

As JJ got into the ring, Charlie rushed right at him with a clothesline, only for JJ to quickly lower the ropes. The momentum sent Charlie Kelly over the ropes and onto the floor, eliminating him to a surprise ovation!

 **Michael Cole:** MY LORD!

 **JBL:** I can't believe this! JJ eliminated the psycho!

 **Jerry Lawler:** It's not looking sunny for Charlie anymore! He's gone!

 **21st Eliminated: Charlie Kelly; Eliminated by: Jimmie "JJ" Walker; Duration: 27:05**

Charlie was shocked that he was sent home, thanks to JJ.

However, he wasn't leaving to the back. Furiously, he threw a fit outside the ring, kicking the steel steps in frustration.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Talk about a sore sport.

 **JBL:** That maniac deserves what he got. He's nothing but a full menace to society!

However, Charlie suddenly overheard JBL calling him a maniac and a menace. This set something inside of him off for good.

In retaliation, Charlie rushed right over to the announcer's table and jumped over JBL, punching him furiously like a total madman.

 **Jerry Lawler:** What the-? What the hell's going on here?!

 **Michael Cole:** Somebody get some help around here! Charlie's going nuts!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to Michael* Hang on to your headset, Cole!

One by one, Charlie kept slamming his fist all over JBL's face, not getting the so-called Wrestling God a chance to fight back.

This display forced the competitors inside the ring to stop and look what was going on outside. One of them would have gone outside the ring and get Charlie off of Cole, but regarding Charlie's vicious pit-bull demeanor, staying in the ring was a better choice.

However, while they weren't looking, JJ took the opportunity and snuck behind Jack Brewer, who got tossed over the ropes and onto the floor.

 **22nd Eliminated: Jack Brewer; Eliminated by: Jimmie "JJ' Walker; Duration: 8:36**

 **Michael Cole:** Jack Brewer just got eliminated, but the real story going on is the real display before us.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Seriously, is no one gonna get this madman off of JBL?!

Finally, a team of security rushed right in and managed to get Charlie off of the former WWE Champion. The crowd went ecstatic for this, chanting out Charlie's name over and over again.

While he was being held back by Security, he had interesting choice of words for the 'Wrestling God'.

 **Charlie Kelly:** *to JBL* F**k you and your stupid cowboy hat! I think Ralph Wiggum was a better singer, ya f**ktard!

 **Michael Cole:** *to JBL* JBL, are you okay?!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Oh man, that was insane.

While both Michael and the King were busy checking on JBL, the Rumble clock lit up yet again, bringing another entrant of the match.

 **Michael Cole:** Anyway, who got number 33?

 **10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!**

 **Entrant #33: Carl Winslow (Family Matters)**

As the buzzer sounded, a overweight black cop made his way through the curtain to a huge hometown ovation from the crowd.

He felt appreciated by the support from the Chicago faithful. He was representing the entire boys in the Chicago Police Department, which happened to be at ringside to support Carl Winslow.

 ** **Michael Cole:**** Here comes another returning favorite from the last Sitcom Royal Rumble! It's Carl Winslow from _Family Matters_!

 ** **Jerry Lawler:**** Of course with Al Bundy in the ring, there's no doubt that's the guy Carl's going after!

As Carl entered the ring, he went face-to-face with Al Bundy.

The energy between them was so big, it was enough to blow the roof off the United Center. Chants of 'Let's Go, Carl' and 'Let's go, Bundy' went back to back between the two. It was like Rock vs. Hogan, or Michaels vs. Hart, or perhaps Cena vs. Rock itself. Someone was fixing to go down due to the first punch either man could give.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Check this out!

 **Michael Cole:** You can feel the tension cutting through a knife, that's for sure!

 **Jerry Lawler:** It's getting so loud, my ears are this close to bleeding!

 **Carl Winslow:** *to Al* You ain't man enough to go against me!

 **Al Bundy:** *to Carl* What are you, my wife?

With the staredown boiling underway, both Al and Carl started pummeling one another, which drove the Chicago crowd insane.

At first, Al had the momentum going with punches to Carl's big gut, but the policeman managed to toss Al right to the turnbuckle, responding to huge big shoulder thrusts. This was growing so intense and personal between the two.

 **Jerry Lawler:** I'm on the edge of my seat for this one!

 **Michael Cole:** It's like a battle of wild bulls! And it looks like the shoeman's feeling the wrath of Carl!

While Al and Carl were busy having their war, JBL finally started coming alive at the announcer's table.

Shaking a few nerves off, he spoke to his commentary partners.

 **JBL:** Ugh, what the hell happened here...?

 **Michael Cole:** *to JBL* JBL, are you alright?!

 **JBL:** *shouting* What the hell was wrong with that freak?!

 **Jerry Lawler:** *to JBL* Well, you should've never pissed Charlie off in the first place if you didn't call him names!

 **JBL:** *to Cole and King* Well, I didn't know he was gonna come over here and do that to me! Somebody oughta send Charlie to the Arkham Asylum!

As JBL was still recovering from the beatdown caused by Charlie Kelly, Tyler was busy unloading punches to Xander down at the upper right turnbuckle.

However, Hayden snuck up from behind and caught Tyler in a Reverse Death Valley position.

 **Jerry Lawler:** Uh-oh! Bad place, wrong time, Tyler!

 **JBL:** I definitely wouldn't want to be Tyler, that's for sure!

Holding Tyler up on his shoulders, Ally tried to stop Hayden.

But all Ally got was a big boot to the face. With the ladykiller on his shoulders, Hayden flipped Tyler over and slammed him with a Burning Hammer!

 **Michael Cole:** A thunderous Burning Hammer!

 **Jerry Lawler:** Hayden is feeling on fire here tonight!

 **JBL:** We might have ourselves a new Rumble favorite here!

As Tyler became slumped on the mat, both Emma and Xander were busy trying to get Red Forman out, considering he was in the ring for a very long time.

And as JJ was trying to withstand a 2-on-1 encounter with Frasier and Norm, the clock played over the titantron. The people in Chicago all turned to the stage, awaiting entrant number 34 in the match.

 **Jerry Lawler:** We've got number 34 coming up! Who's coming now?

 _ **To be continued next chapter...**_

* * *

 **Hmmm, who shall it be, indeed? Before you can answer that simple question, let's see some stats now, shall we?  
**

 **Eliminated: Mike Seaver, Peter Brady, Robbie Shapiro, Shelby Marcus,** **Cliff Huxtable,** **Carl McMillan,** **Victoria Flynn, Tim Taylor,** **Larry Appleton,** **Alex P. Keaton, Newman, Screech, Richie Cunningham, Oleg, Balki Bartokomous, Cory Matthews, Mr. Belvedere, Nikki Ortiz, Carlton Banks, Jefferson D'Arcy, Charlie Kelly and Jack Brewer  
**

 **Still in the ring: Al Bundy, Ally Dawson, Carl Winslow, Emma Ross, Frasier Crane, Hayden Fox, Jimmie "JJ" Walker, Norm Peterson, Red Forman, Tyler James and Xander.  
**

 **Entrants in the ring: 12**

 **Entrants still left to go: 33  
**

 **Will Coach Hayden Fox keep this momentum going?  
**

 **Will Al and Carl's rivalry get them to the end?  
**

 **Is Jefferson really a human pincushion?  
**

 **Is the sky really blue? Why in the hell should I know!  
**

 **Next chapter will be off the hook for sure, so feedbacks are welcome? Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off for now!** **BA-FRICKIN-ZINGA!** _  
_


End file.
